A UNILAG Babe’s Twitter Love Story
My name is Monica and this is my story.
It all started on a Sunday evening, I felt so big because I cannot lower my standards to start talking to some dead girls. I mean I’m a big girl, I should be found with bigger girls and bigger boys. Anyways that’s aside. My roommates were not around so I decided to start tweeting. I didn’t really have anything to tweet, I went through peoples tweet so i started stealing people’s tweets. Most of my followers were retweetting it because it was really making sense. My roommates got back but I ignored them because I was really having fun on twitter.
Around 1:00 am I got a DM from a guy, I almost ignored it but I checked it. It was just ‘hi’ from a guy. I checked his avi, OMG this guy is so handsome and on point plus he has over 5000 followers. Definitely, he must be a big boy and he should have cash, this attracted me to him and we started chatting; in my mind I have found new maga. He introduced himself and told me he is loving my tweets because they really inspire him. I told him they were all my thoughts.
He must have believed me because the next thing I knew he started telling me his life story. He told me how his girl friend broke his heart and all, he said he loved the girl so much and gave her everything she wanted; he gave her an I phone 4 and also got her a diamond ring he proposed to her with. All this got me thinking of when I would be getting my own diamond ring. Since he got her an Iphone 4 I might get the new Z10! Finally, someone to change my blackberry bold1. He also mentioned giving her the key to his house in Lekki when he was travelling to America to see his parents.
My eyes were wide opened that was how I knew that YES this guy is perfectly boxed up. I wasn’t going to let him think I was the broke one, so I started forming for him too. I lied to him about how rich my parents were . I started consoling him and telling him that not all girls are the same. Not because I pity him but common this guy is young and rich and this kind of fresh fish cannot slip away from my hand NO! When he called me, I spoke with a black American accent I learned from watching TV.
Soon we started planning our first meeting. He asked me for how much I needed. I replied. No thanks, I don’t need your money. He sensed I
was being modest and he asked me if 100 thousand naira will be adding that he would give it to me when I come over. I had to look good to impress this guy, my broke Bottom had only two thousand naira. I went ahead to buy a Brazilian weave on credit. I also borrowed thirty five thousand naira from a friend. I made a good meal. I got new clothes and other stuffs. Nneka had warned me not to come back to school if I didn’t get her money.
We met. While he drove me to the undisclosed place, I talked and laughed at his dry jokes. We got to lekki he stopped by one of the houses, he said he wanted to get something from his friend. Immediately he left, his phone rang but I didn’t pick up, the fourth time the person called I picked up and the person said “I get your message say you don pick the girl, abeg wait for me before you start to dey knack am because I wan knack am too. We go do a before you ask for her ATM card and pin oo. Since you talk say na rich girl, he mean say she go get correct money. No Bleep up oo before she go no say you be broke guy, continue to dey form fonee u hear, helooo, hello, hello”.
I took my things, entered the next cab I saw………. Haaaaa BAD MARKET. Wat will I tell Nneka!!!