We stumbled on a very Hilarious Childhood story, shared by Yubee DaprinceofAirfizy on Facebook.. It’s worth the read!
Enjoy!
I remember back then during my nursery school days, when my class teacher, a strict slim man we simply called “Uncle”, entered the class one Tuesday morning with our marked assignment booklets, and a bunch of cane in his left hand.
He announced that we performed woefully in the assignment he gave us, and that anyone who scored below 7/10 would be flogged. He then called out names and asked that once you hear your name you should move to one side of the classroom. He divided us into two groups and he didn’t say which group was getting flogged and which group wasn’t.
I knew what his flogging looked like, it will leave scars on your buttocks for days and back then you couldn’t let your parents see those scars so they can storm the school and beat the teacher up or sue him or her to court as it is done nowadays. How would you report it to your parents? I mean what will you say made the teacher to flog you? You failed an assignment? my parent will add their own beating on top.
So since our class teacher did not let us know the bad group, we used our intuition to decode the bad group. Just watch out for which group the boy that usually comes first will fall in.
Godwin and one half cast American girl Margaret used to drag first position back then. Margaret was called to my group!!, I smiled and started humming “come and join me sing hallelujah, Jehovah nissi has done me well…..”
I was very happy, we were definitely the right group!☺ We were waiting for Godwin to join us too. But our uncle called Godwin to the other group!!!
Come and see jubilation in the other group. Shit! shit! shit! I forgot about Margaret, who oyinbo help? the last time she was given a soft knock with a little wooden ruler on her palms for coming late to school, just small o, she cried till school was over, so today you are on your own oyinbo.
One boy in my group went and met the man and said “please uncle I want to go and ease myself” “urinate inside your pant!!!” our uncle roared back. The boy came back and realised he had bigger problems than urinating. Our uncle finished calling the names and then looked at the two groups and gave a speech about how our parents are spending lots of money to send us to school and how we have failed to repair them with hard work and so on and so forth. I was so scared, my head was heavy! And then uncle announced that my group should go and sit down.
What!!!???? Uncle you mean…. Trust me, though I was shocked to realise I was in the good group I left for my seat immediately before uncle would change his mind or say he meant the other group.
I heard a cry emanate from the other group, it reminded me of a Bible portion I heard in Sunday school (Micah 3:4 Then shall they cry unto the LORD, but he will not hear them: he will even hide his face from them at that time, as they have behaved themselves ill in their doings.)
So I was not in the bad group, wooow, so I actually got the assignment correct and Godwin didn’t…. I was still reflecting on the near incident when the boy who wanted to go and urinate earlier tapped me on the shoulder, I turned and he said in Ibibio “ikim anwaad” (I have urinated in my pant)
I Call that piss of joy!!!
But we have questions Yubee!! What happened to Godwin’s group? Where they flogged? Did the teacher say anything about Godwin Failing the assignment? Since he’s amongst the top student in your class?
