This happened about eight months ago, and I’ve tried to be reasonable and put it past me but I’m really struggling.
I’ve been told what he did was reasonable, makes sense, etc, but I keep coming back to that moment of total abandonment and fear when I realized he’d run. I just feel completely alone around him now.
We were walking home from a work function at a bar at around 1am. Neither of us had drunk that evening so we weren’t even slightly tipsy. Two guys across the street from us crossed over and approached us asking if we knew where such-and-such a street was.
As fiancé turned around to point out where the street was, one of the guys pulled out a knife and told us to stop moving and to give him all our shit (phone, wallet, etc). I was surprised by how calm I was in the moment, and told them I needed to reach into my pocket to get my phone.
As I was doing that, the guy pressed the knife against my ribs as warning because I guess he was worried I had a gun (even though that’s pretty unlikely in my country). When this happened, my fiancé bolted.
It took me a bit to even realise he’d left me, and when I realised that he had run I was certain I was about to get badly hurt or die.
Fortunately, the thieves seemed to get kind of frightened by him getting away and just hurried me up. They took my phone, bag (with my purse with all my money, cards, personal effects), necklace and ran away. The whole ordeal from start to finish took maybe five minutes.
I was kind of in shock and wandered off back up the street, heading back towards the bar, not even really thinking. A few minutes later my fiancé found me and told me he called the police.
I found out that fiancé had run about a block away, calling for help as he ran. We were both okay physically, except for a tiny bit of broken skin on my ribs where they’d pressed the knife.
My fiancé says what he does makes sense – that if he’d hung around and it turns out they’d wanted to hurt us or worse, we’d both be fucked because no one else would be around to call the police or an ambulance.
That he wanted to be alive and able to help in case something happened to me. He also says that by running away, the thieves didn’t want to hang around any longer than necessary (which is true), which might have saved me.
His mum agrees and has praised him for not being an idiot, but my own mother has quietly told me she thinks he’s a coward for abandoning his wife-to-be.
Fiancé asked me not to tell our friends exactly what happened, because he says they wouldn’t understand his actions unless they were there.
My own thoughts are that, by running away, he potentially significantly decreased my chance of survival.
I’m only about 157cm (5’2”) and 51kgs (110lbs). He’s 178cm (5’10”) and 75kg (165lbs). The two guys were about his size. They would have been able to easily overpower/subdue me, but my fiancé there would have made it 2v2 (although we would have still been at a disadvantage, them still having a knife and size advantage) and not left me completely at the mercy of two criminals who rob people at night.
I also wonder, what would have happened if him leaving me had given them the courage to do something worse? Like rape. I mean, I don’t think they would have – they seemed pretty interested in valuables and cash only – but what if?
I look at him and wonder, do I even want kids with him? If I did have a child with him, would he abandon him or her in a dangerous situation because it was the ‘smart’ thing to do?
I’ve lost a lot of attraction to him. He accuses me of wanting to use him as a meatshield just because he’s a man, and that what he did was smart and not the machismo stupidity I ‘wanted’ that could have gotten us both killed.
I didn’t want him to try to fight them… I just wanted him by my side. Which I guess is selfish, because it was a dangerous situation. I don’t feel safe around him anymore, which I used to. I’m even scared of the dark again, despite him lying in bed right next to me.
As I’m typing this, I don’t know what to think. We fortunately don’t have a wedding date set, so there’s no immediate pressure of marriage. Please help!
It depends on how the situation played out and the intensity of the situation. There are two things That it could be 1. He was a complete coward and ran for hIs dear Life. 2. (which i hope it is) he probably weighed the situation and figured he couldnt overpower them and even if he did they would Still stab you Because if they see hes overpowering them theyll immediately turn to you and stab you every sideways, now im a big looking guy 3guys with kniVes would probably think twice about approachinG me but if i was with my fiancee i would be less callous. Every robbery situaTion i know Always has the man running away which makes the thieves panic and run. I know this because we were robbed when i was much younger. So please think about it carefully and Godspeed.
Looool…… Sister… life no dey two o
Haba, if you sef see opportunity to run you for no run ni? If he had stayed could he have been able to overpower the robbers? Abeg free the guy joor, he who fights and run away lives to fight another day abi no be so?
Na so ooo
Na so joor
Special acknowledgement pretty lady.
You are the real daughter of your parents.you are bless
So he can’t die 4 love hahahahahahaha ????
Die for wetin? Will the lady in question die for love? If the guy die now will she not marry someone else? Abeg make the woman sef learn how to run if opportunity present itself to save your life
@Eunice Imade Edo; you dey reason nd u no selfish. you’re d opposite of a typical naija girl. Die for love kiiiiaaaa!
@ die 4 love! 😀 Jesus has done that one, me am living for love
Eunice Imade Edo, if not for one thing all of us for join resources marry you together. 😀
Ogbonnaya Emeka Daniel you are the funniest guy ever! Plenty women dey to go round you guys na
Em plenty, but u few sha
if only 30percent of women can think like u…some demise men shouldnt have died
if only 30percent of women can think like u…some demise men shouldnt have died
if only 30percent of women can think like u…some demise men shouldnt have died
Thanks for the compliment Emeka Kingsman
Haba, this man will abandon not only u, but ur children for anything even if na cockroach or another woman
But the guy didn’t fight ab initio. So the saying of “…live to fight another day” doesn’t really apply. However, the guy did a wise thing. The likelihood of killing the guy is higher compared to the lady wey dem go just f**k waka.
Well the term was used as a kind of a parable not to be taken literally
Abeg him knw try so na so hin
No he go come die for u n u go leave am go marry another man just like Jesus died for u n I n we still dey sin against am….
MADAM ur fiancé no b JESUS even d way d world take dey, JESUS no go gree come die for me n u
Maybe because he doesn’t watch Indian movies,he would have learnt how to stand up for the lady…..life is not a movie he did the best he could do be proud of him.
Him go stil take leave her if e con be say them mary him con see another woman way him like
You’re such a stupid brat
Even Tiger dy fear death let alone your finance or your ATM he is not yet your husband
Even if na husband he be he’s not bullet proof, abeg make the guy run wella, if na the babe sef she too for run if she see opportunity
hehehehe
Jst 4get that guy he does not worth ur luv
Will you stand! Abeg
He left u to call d police in dis naija wey me and u knw say police no go follow am cm? my dear he’s a coward jst like ur mother said #MyOpinionThou
If d guy happens to be ur brother, will u advice him to stay? Will u call him coward? Babe u too fool…… Wise up
Cowdard or not I think the guy’s decision was on point and she should have even praised him for having the sense to run, abi no be person wey escape go fit call for help?
You dey talk sense@Eunice Imade Edo; some babes wan make their man go any extent for dem wen death dey make mama and pikin follow different ways
your mum is wrong. wait let me ask u. Did your mum expect your guy to stay with u What if u were to die so she expected d guy to Die with u abi. she try well well
Lolx.. O japa niyen
Sister Eucharia Chukwuani abeg what are you saying, you not making sense at all. Pardon me
FYI he left you to die
That man is very stupid nd useless
Yes agreed at least he preserved his dear precious life and all the males in ur household will be stupid n useless if dey prove love by having deir lives taken in d process…… Ngbeke
@ Francisca Francis u ‘re very stupid nd wortless girl .Am very sure that how ur so called father did 2ur mother. .
Foolish idiote like you .thank God u ‘re a woman .almighty God will make u witness such then u feel how painfull it’s
Rubbish at ur age u ‘re still single slepping frm one hotel 2another .
You insulted me 1st you deserve any stone I throw at you
Lol,why naija men no romantic like this eh?
You can say that again…after one candle na other rooms she go get visit…no be so free my nigga
He iz a coward
Really???? So u think but you will be a bigger coward to see death and walk right into it
Very Funny….
Pls go and look 4 him not here
You didn’t tell him they raped you after he ran
As 4 me,i like de way he run cos i believe dat robbers wll jst have a sex wt her an let her go but as 4 him i believe that rubbers wll kill de guy
Who wan die??????? Lol no blame d guy oooo just bcos he wanna prove to be a man isn’t enough reason to die for it cos even d Bible says, shrewd is d one who foresee danger and conceal himself…… You guys aren’t married yet, if d guy die u will marry someone else besides if it’s u, u will do exactly d same…… Sorry ooo lolz
God bless you for saying the truth
d girl self try run away if na me ehn I go disappear go patapata.. nobody can die for anybody
Am very sure that if u are d one DAT see d opportunity to run, u go run leave ur guy dere, make he die, after all no b u dey dere dey talk now, I beg free d guy joo
What he did is human, besides, he is not yet married to you. My dear, the usual saying in the local parlance that love is blind is but a pathetic fallacy. The decision and choice to make in this matter is entirely yours to take, please
Fly for life
No kind of #iberibe talk wey man no go hear
After he die finish the girl go dey visit other room up and down….woman that I selfish
All man for himself, God for us all…… If I were in his shoes I would do same. No vex
You and your mum are not serious… So he should die because you?? If you had chance to escape, won’t you do same..
oyo
Hahahahahahaha..i no fit commennt abegg…
Lekwa this babe o…..life no get part two o…..lmao
But if u still love him go
Lwnkmd… I aff wnt to die of laffta…my country pple am pleased wit all ur comments… Ds life na O.Y.O
Don’t u no he is de target to kill
Thank God u called him your fiance, even husband can do more than this, there was a day armed robbers enter d flat after mine,immediately they point gun on d man’s forehead he ran and hide at d back of his wife bending down with fear, and this man is someone who don’t joke with his wife, he loves her so much.you shouldn’t panic, go ahead with him if he loves you, na fear cos am, u can protect him if he is in danger, u can still run if u have opportunity, that’s d spirit of FEAR! # lol
I disagree no way he shld stay n die joor
No be film dem dey shoot ooo. stay nd die kiiiiaaa#d kind run ehnn, Usain bolt go carry second. lol
he went to call security
He is a coward point blank.
Life na per Head
take heart, i once ran and left my twin brother behind at a robbery scene,it was later i knew he ran different direction too
If it were to be a would have run also, or will you have rather like it if the two of u die at the same time. My dear don’t let that bother you at all after all he still call the police to rescue you. He loves that was y he did what he did to save you from on them.
He later call police?
He did the right thing
Before unkor
Life has no duplicate. Only the living can talk what they see about life.
B4. What were you waiting for??? Didn’t he come back to you after the robbery? Stop being selfish abeg.
Abeg make una carry una wahala comot here. Must u talk everything about ur relationship? Ur mum is saying he’s a coward ur mum to be is saying he’s courageous fine, which one are u saying? What u say and think is all dat matters
Lol
If he truly love his fiancée he could hv stayed to the end after all its for better for worst well I don’t blame him before whn men fights women tells the story but now women do the fighting and men tells the story
U just said fiance and not husband so what do u expect make e wait make dem kill am make u go marry another man hahahaha
Lol Hmmmmmmm what did you expect him to do, fight an arm robber with gun. if you want to remarry the right way is not to push him to his death but divorce him
Me I for no run… I go dissappear… Ghost mode
In such cases, it is always better for the man to escape first, so that he can call for proper help… Because, if he doesn’t escape, the robbers might kill him and keep the wife alive… Women are hardly killed during robbery, the highest harm they incur is rape.. But men are easily killed.. He who runs away, regroups to fight another day.. WISDOM IS PROFITABLE TO DIRECT
U Shuld Tnk God Dat Ntin Hapned To U Both…Firstly
Maybe no be for better for worse u signed
Police with guns run away from armed robbery how much more ur bloody civilian boyfriend….who ur mama epp
He can’t do anything at that moment he have to run
Do u expect him to collect d guns from their hands
Courage my butt!
That s ma men
That guy is very courageous jare. Do you think it is easy to run from armed robbers just to go call the police?
Abeg if to say na me, I for run go call army!
Hehehehe!
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If he had waited and the robbers had beaten him up to the point of death and he died…..wouldn’t she remarry?
Must you die together?
Don’t worry next time if they come back,don’t allow him to run before you…….Court arise….I rest my case
Baby girl you need a defender like David Luis
What of if him dey there them come kill him watin u for dey talk now wa u suppose dey thank God for una life u dey there dey complain
If d bobo no run, d robbers for kill am. So babe, no vex. Go secure ur parade n stop nagging.
He’s just trying to say that you are in O.Y.O. state. Lolzzz on your own ooo when life is Involved cus heaven na personal race o
Let’s ask Google, cos am confused.
Yr so called fiancee left wi armed robber s proof dat h nevs liked u bt only sex tool
My dear I think your guy did the right thing, if he had stayed there with you that will give the idiots the power to hurt or even kill the two of you but he took off to get help and that scared them away. So no worries he did the right thing.
Baby if u r dere u will do d same tin.
ok ooo
The guy must have been too slow for you to know he ran away… it should be a flash na only breez go blow you before you know say person move ..Lolz he must have been a warri guy we don’t carry last
See u xo u want make de hol word begin de cry xay ya fiancé wale lve u? Oh cum on
He was trying to save the remaining money with him naaa.
Lol
Maybe you would have preferred his burial ceremony? E no go work for you.
Na wa oh so if the police killed the lady nko abeg next time you too run don’t wait
Na the two of una sabi
Young Lady better run for your life oo this is just the beginning…..
Did u expects him to fight them?
Hmmm…it’s a dicey situation but if you feel unsafe beside him…You’ll make the right choice.
dont blame him,he might be d only son in d family,so it is advisable for him to use his legs and bail himself,
If am in his shoes even usain bolt no go catch me
He who fights and runaway lives to fight another day
If say Na u get d opportunity to waka my dear u for even waka pass him…abeg free the Young innocent guy.
ur lucky de no rape u, dat kin guy for run for life…Both of u exchange clots hand ova ur females,clot to him while u waer d trousers.
I only see a guy running for his life here, nobody wan die naa.
Family issues. Sort out yourself….
my dear, he ran 4 his dear life.he didnt want to die as romi nd juliet.no blame anybodi bt robber.lol.bt shal that guy funi
#NoDulling. ur husband-2-be is a smart guy
If the guy nah ur brother u nor go tell am make he run
Fear is an enemy that live within its victims, under such circumstances anything can happen, could piee on his body, jump from a 10 story building, or hide in a working refrigerator, all Na fear, abeg free ur guy.
Lol, no need of full story the guy ran for his life
Don’t marry him. He ran away to help but you didn’t get the help. You survived because it was God’s grace. God allowed that to happen to you, so that you know exactly who you are about to marry. If he apologized and regretted abandoning you. Then, it will be different, rather he argues and accuses you wanting to use him as a “meat shield”. He also told you not to tell his nor your friends, because he knows the truth. His mother will not make a good second mother because she sided her son not minding your fears. He will abandon you again and give excuses. The choice remains yours. Pray over it, but as for me, I will end that engagement.
so.u want him.to die in the name of love. u are wicked
God forbid anything happen to your fiancée, will you not go on with your life while he rotten in the grave? don’t blame him,OK,he did the right thing,still love the guy