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My Experience With a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Daniel Oyetoro by Daniel Oyetoro
July 5, 2016
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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As a normal naija guy I always catch cruise and chill on the weekends to forget that hassle of living in this our country. It had been the best part of staying in Lagos until I met this babe named Moyo.

Chai! This babe was so fresh, original black beauty and one of the few Africans that contact lenses fit. Still in awe of her beauty I was practically thunderstruck when she came up to me at Lekki Leisure Lake, where I had gone one Saturday after getting my paycheck, and started giving me conversation.

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To cut long story short I started dating this girl and some time in the early months of the relationship I began to understand that when someone is half-edo it doesn’t mean the *clears throat* nature is half too.

After all the drama of her throwing my fone off a three storey building in anger, dragging the steering wheel with me on the highway, threatening to kill herself if I leave and actually attempting it, I ran away for my dear life.

I didn’t know how wrong I was to think that problem has left my horizon. I always hear of crazy ex-girlfriends but only in films na, who would have thought they exist real life.

First thing this girl did was to keep calling me at odd hours, some times she will talk other times she will just stay on the call breathing and crying.

This went on for weeks and I even got used to it till I saw her one day at an eatery beside my office, just sitting there and watching my car.

The chill I felt that day was not compared to the one that hit me when I woke up the next morning and her car was parked in front of my gate. Getting apprehensive, I called her mom but this woman no pick phone.

That day after work, I decided to go home through my office back door but imagine my shock when I got home and saw a note pasted on my day in her big handwriting saying “you can’t run forever, you are mine”.

After months of this cat and mouse game, with me as the unfortunate mouse, I confronted this lady and what I heard will continue to ring in my ears whenever I see a full or even half edo babe. She said she had decided when she saw me that I will spend the rest of my life with her and so she will not let me spoil her plans.

I moved to my friends house who stays in an estate with security, I still see her at the office at times but she hasn’t got where I’m living now yet.

I’m going to move away soon, I go to church regularly now in case of spiritual attack and trust me, I have never picked up any girl at the beach, Lake, river, well or even tap again to date.
Let me stop writing now before the powers that be trace my IP address and figure out where this Broke Naija Boy is.

One more thing, let’s hook up again next week, I promise to have small gist for you.

Culled from Journal of a Broke Naija Boy

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