A wife has been left devastated after discovering the unflattering things her husband had told his friend about her when they first met.
The 40-year-old woman, identified as Jane Lewis from New Jersey, checked her husband’s phone last month with his permission but was left heartbroken by what she saw.
She discovered messages of her partner bragging to his friend about ‘an ugly chick’ who supposedly wanted him desperately.
In one of the messages, her husband described her as ugly and claimed she was desperate to be with him.
The message read, “She’s an ugly chick who wants me so bad.”
He went on to provide intricate details about their relationship at the time, including the fact that they hadn’t been intimate despite Jane’s willingness to do anything for him.
He also mentioned feeling obligated to “make out with her a little bit” in order to keep Jane happy.
These hurtful messages were sent six years ago, but Jane only discovered them last month, after they had already gotten married in 2021.
He told his friend he moved in with Jane but said he didn’t find her attractive like the ‘hot girls he sees all the time’.
Jack then went on to say that he believed he could get any girl but most ‘hot chicks are stuck up anyway’.
Jane said she immediately confronted her husband, who was embarrassed and made the excuse that he was trying to make himself feel better at the time.
The mother-of-three said her confidence has been shattered, and she admitted that if she had found the messages earlier, she would have considered leaving him.
“I went through his messages to see who he was talking to. Him and his friend don’t text that often so I only had to scroll back about ten messages. ‘I got to one from when we first got together saying he was using me for my money, how ugly I am and he won’t have sex with me.
“It was pretty bad. It was very shocking. I was devastated. He was mortified, he was pretty upset and he apologised. He said he felt bad about himself [at the time] and he wanted to make himself feel better.
“I don’t know how I’ll move on from it. I’m hurt by it. If he asks me a question, I say: “‘I’m not stupid, I’m just ugly”. He calls me beautiful but I don’t believe him. It’s knocked my confidence. I have ugly duckling syndrome. I’ll always think I’m really bad looking.
“I would have left him if I found the messages in the beginning. I have to try to move past it, it’s seven years later and we’re married. If it was someone else who found the messages, I would tell them to leave because if I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t be with him. I wouldn’t have stuck through so many things.” She said.
The couple met when Jane was working at a grocery store where Jack was a regular customer.
She says that they moved in together almost immediately and she thought the relationship was going well at the time Jack sent the messages.
Her words,
“I thought we had a nice relationship. I don’t understand any of it. He was so nice to me and appreciative of everything I did. He was all round pretty kind. I had to do a double take when I found the messages. It seemed like our relationship was based on a lie. He didn’t treat me like that. It was out of character.
‘He wasn’t the person he was when we were together, he was sweet and flattering. He’s clearly a different person to me than he is to his friends and that’s messed up.
‘Marriage means a lot to him and he said he was never going to get married unless it was someone really special but I don’t believe anything he tells me now. He could be telling me one thing and other people another.”
