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Veteran Nollywood actress, Hilda Dokubo has shared a piece of her mind on the best ways to manage marriages and relationships in general.

Based on the rate at which marriages break nowadays, the actress has noted that the best way to keep a home intact is by forgiveness, loving the home and self-love.

When asked if catching the man cheating was reason enough to walk out of the marriage, the veteran actress turned minister of God said in such a situation, the woman needs to forgive the man the same way God has been forgives daily for sins committed.

“You know I’m a Christian, I’m born again, and I’m a minister so no ground is good enough. The Bible charges a man to love his wife as God loves the church. God has not abandoned us because of our sins, even when He caught us red-handed. He still loves us; He’s still giving us the best of help,” she said.

According to Hilda said the only deal breaker in marriage is when it becomes severely abusive.

Hilda Dokubo has been active in the movie industry since 1992 and has starred in hundreds of movies where she is known to be easily brought to tears in her mostly melancholic roles.

She has been married for 30 years and sometimes share tips on relationships and life in general.

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402 COMMENTS

  11. There is some setting things that you must forgive, not your husband cheating on you seriously ,that is a big gross of insult,if your husband respect you he won’t cheat on you,all are the same but different nature and faces

    • What about if your wife cheat on you can you forgive her guys?? Remember we are all human and nobody is perfect so your wife can also be tempted just the way you guys are being tempted. So can you guys forgive a cheating wife? Don’t do to others what you can’t tolerate from others. It will be much better to stay unmarried than staying married to a cheat as a husband so that she would be a dumping ground for infections and STDs .

    • women always wants to see us as same…when will you the ladies start paying for us to marry una…it is not right to cheat but believe me or not…there is a reason married men cheat more than married women, men are not created same with women and the general perception of a cheating husband is not same with a cheating wife…don’t get me wrong..cheating is bad generally. ..but if all the cultures still allow men to marry more than one wife and the women to stick to one husband. ..don’t you think that has given men the license to cheat?…it is bad though…

    • Read my sentence very well and understand before reply,am not referring it to all,but for the fact that your husband is cheating on you,doesn’t show respect, and the love is not there….even your boyfriend can’t cheat on you if he love,

    • Moshi Emmaster ,point of correction, my husband cannot cheat on me and I can’t cheat on my husband, pray and marry a God fearing woman……who will love you for who you are and not for material things, and be careful of your comments because am not talking to you,but if you want to take it personal then it not Facebook issues again

    • See ladies,no one is praying for a cheat as a husband, but if you ain’t ready to forgive your husband not your “BOYFRIEND” you are not ready for marriage…. Only if we ladies knew what some of our mothers had to go through…

    • Forgiveness come when he repent ,you won’t be happy to forgive when he continue with what he is doing, what do you expect from such woman?? But am very sure that a responsible man cannot cheat on his wife

    • Some Men are just happy fooling themselves around all in the name of cheating thinking they have the licence to cheat so they can go on and on cheating putting their man hood in every hole that accept to open for them. Shame on you. If u think you are the head of the home that you are above your woman, is sleeping with every woman and committing adultery the write way to prove it?? How many men are providing for their homes 100percent needs?? If men is the head of home please bearing that name “head” is not all that matters. Please do what will keep your homes. Women are human being just like you men it is blood that flaws in her veins if you love and respect your woman no reason will make you cheat on her. Please remain single so that you will have all the girls to fornicate with stop incurring pains on your wife because “you are the head”

    • My husband cannot cheat on me,likewise I can’t cheat on him,you decided how to lay your bed so you can lay on it,if you want to jump you can go a head or sleeping around with men that is left for you to decided on

    • So Mr man,with your own idea is for a man to marry hundred wives thousands children, Christian like to miss interpret word,now that is not the headline, so read the headlines and understand before before I reply you,the headlines is different from what you are saying

    • Laurent Monday Yes we are serving the same God but in different ways. If one is getting married to a Muslim man the woman will prepare her self and mind that she is not going to be the only wife to the man that one is different from Christian beliefs. Besides, marrying more than one wife is different from having a wife and a concubine(s).

  37. Because I love him I may not be able to forgive him am sorry but if I don’t love him than I can forgive him cheating on me, because who cares so u see cheating not allowed

  56. How do u forgive a man DAT is not repented? Forgiveness is given when change n honesty is seen u r the ones spoiling dis men.this is y they will keep cheating. How do we raise godly sons?a broken vow is like been born again n living in sin

  62. If Una like make Una hear if we cheat forgive us,if u can’t forgive us anything Una like make Una do. Go marry another man he go still cheat pursue am again marry another one e go still do am,na u De loose De go,so if u find urself in dis kind of issues just forgive and pray for us no be our fault na Una sisters De cause am,nowadays we no De force them na dem De bring the tin come give us.

  66. Madam all dis new generation girls will not forgive ooo, a generation dat gave birth to a girl child before dre mother, dey Wil give u reasons why dey wunt forgive, n even do back, some even see forgiveness as a sin, so alow dem, pls if ur man cheats on u, shoot him or cheat back, dats wot dey want to hear.

  67. When your husband cheats on you pack out if the house. Simple! She advised based on what she knows, if you know beta, do it yourself own way, stop insulting her. Little wonder if you all are packing out, why are girls still praying to get married.? If because he cheats, u pack out.

  70. In the bible, cheating is the only ground for divorce. The Bible says if you cannot forgive then go ahead and divorce but you shall never remarry except your spouse dies. So there is an option of forgive or divorce. Don’t get it twisted.

  71. Mama . Dis one no enter ooh for me I fit forgive my wife for cheating on me but I no fit forget . So I can’t even eat her food or touch anything about her . So is better she lives my house in peace or live like chiboko girls … I can’t force her or beat her to live my house . but she will have no option but to live cos she is my enemy … my opinion don’t get me wrong

  73. Someone like me always forgive easy but to forget is hard for me to do . All am saying is that if your wife or your husband have the heart to cheat on your . It may kill your one day so if my wife cheat on me . Please let her go ? God no be man

  76. Even the bible is clear on the consequences of adultery. That is how much God detests deception!! Some women are in psychiatric homes, some down with various forms of diseases, some are single mothers for the fair of harm from strange women, some thrown out of their homes, some endure physical abuse, some have met their untimely deaths all because of strange women and I can go on and on! So Ma, God knew when he gave divorce as a way out of adultery.

  79. If your husband cheat on you you divorce him how many men you won marry or if you get married to another man he will not cheat on you abi? I support you i will forgive him and continue the marriage o I pray I don’t get married to a cheat.

  86. Cheating even in relationship is very bad not to talk of marriage. I equally know that a cheat will always be a cheat but some women drives there men into cheating. Women should always make there man there best friend and take care of them the way the take care of themselves.On a lighter note,will you remain in the man’s house or go back to Ur parent’s house for those shouting that they won’t forgive.

  90. Wen u evn forgv ,z nt all of dem dt wl stop cos d mad one wl always say dt she wl still forgv him again nxt time.For me evn if i forgv,i cant forget and i wl nt love like b4.There s a woman in my place dt each time she caught her hubby cheating he wl buy her something and continue.First he bought her machine,second dead car,third was phone.The fool likes material tins more dan d marriage i guess.

  93. Cheating goes deep,it destroys her inner peace, when he is out,her mind is up wondering what he is doing nd with who,or if he is even safe while cheating on her sef,if he return home,quarrel, fight, no peace at home,she will forgive nd remain with him but she will never forget especially those men that are unrepentant, they keep going back bcos they kno,she will forgive him,,,b4 U kno she will stop loving him,nd start seeing him like a baby daddy,a room mate…. A lot of women today are in an bad marriages cos they don’t want pple to judge dem,that’s Y U see a lot of women cheating nd fuckin upadan especially those ones that don’t av any kind of tradition that’s against such…… Nd apart from all that,what about diseases?
    Abeg cheating is bad,what are U looking for? Maintain Ur wife as those girls maintain…… If U are a man,stop cheating, Y put Ur life nd family at risk for moments of fun? Nd there is nofin as a peaceful home,many marriages today na manage not marriage

  98. Bible knows…y it say only adulatory will make u do away ur partner he or she can carry sickness..and give to u..if u like forgive dat ur business… marriage is never better for worst in terms of cheating an can never be.

  101. True talk from a wise woman. Family first. I pray the man in question is sincerely sorry, if he is… Why not? Surely forgiveness should come in so as to give him peace. But…. When hubby naa player and goal keeper hmmmm pray for ur home and if he continues forgive him and live ur life with ur children WOMAN!!! And let God do d rest.

  104. YES FORGIVE, IF HE APOLOGIZES, & IF YOU’VE BEEN FAITHFUL SURELY ,GOD WILL DO THE REVENGE/PUNISHING, HE CANNOT GO FREE, HE HAS TO PAY A PRICE SOMEHOW, BELIEVE IN HIS WORD VEGEANCE IS MINE SAYS THE LORD OF HOSTS.(HALLELUYA SOMEBODY (Y)

  105. dis was how my frnd’s dad was womanizin even openin business for his numerous concubines,his wife(my frnds mother)was 4givin him n endurin everytin until d man(my frnds fada)contractd hiv n transmittd to his wife….dman is dead now n d woman is livin wit d stigma 4d rest of her life….our african men shuld fear God n stop supportin evil

  106. Cheating is a very delicate issue that needs to be traded with caution either in marital life nor in relationship. It only takes a forgiving heart to forgive his or her spouse and also at the same time forget. One thing in this life is to forgive, and the other is also to forget.

  108. Forgive him an pray 4 him,there is no perfect man,the devil u know is better than the angel u dont knw,my pastor always told us with prayer God will change him to the type of husband u want him to be,so prayer is the key to that type of husband nt divorce,if this one bad in this aspect,may be the new u will marry will be worster than the old one,so u will keep on divorcing,may it nt be our portion IJN AMEN

  109. Any married man or woman who still indulge in extra marital affairs kills himself or herself and even the future of his or her children, well even after being forgiven by the spouse concerned if the person fails to repent and forsakes the sin, Hell is his or her destination because God is not a respecter of any person. Self control and the fear of God can be helpful to the people who are addicted to this.

  116. How long do we have to keep forgiving ? It’s easier said than done. In a relationship it’s very difficult to forgive not to talk of marriage . By the way why would he cheat in the first place ? What’s different from his wife’ s p***y with the girl he cheated with ? Wasn’t the wife good enough for him before he married her ? Abeg don’t tell us that o. I will forgive but can never forget it so what’s the point of forgiving ?

  117. The same bible says DIVORCE him/her on the grounds of adultery..There’s nothing like trust or forgiveness in infidelity, the same men can’t forgive so why do you want us to forgive n forget? Cheating is a slap on the face and makes one have low self esteem..Madam pls have several seats.

  123. I agree totally with her as divorce is not the solution ,who told you your next husband will not cheat ? If you know you can’t forgive a cheating husband don’t marry at all because you will just be wasting your time

  128. It’s only a woman dat should endure and tolerate any form of indiscipline from a man, even when d man abuses u& cheat on u knowingly,we’re still expected to say Sorry or overlook it. Which life do woman come o..Why can’t it be vice-versa…abi na until d man bring disease come give his wife@home…Man can never accept 1/3 of der act if it’s been done by der wife. God will save all righteous woman sa.

  142. Am not against dat o but wen a woman cheats on her hubby dey never 4give d men sends d woman out. Av seen married couples dat av children yet d hubby went and impregnate a girl outside yet d woman forgives but if its d woman d man will never 4give. Dats y I like d white dey don’t joke with d word CHEATING in dia marriages especially dia women 1ce ur caught dey take d necessary action…. Wat am trying 2 say is d African world is against d women. Wat a man does nobody sees it as anything but if d woman does dat same tin its a Taboo. Na wa o my God helps us

  144. Cheating is NOT acceptable from either partner in a relationship. If one of them feels they want to then the relationship should end. Its heartbreaking enough to survive living as it is without added pressure wondering if he is actually working late or out knobing his latest squeeze. I can’t leave my so called partner because I don’t have a job or alternative accommodation.

  147. All dis men calling bible passages now if ur wife cheats on u will u remember does bible versus not wen d man cheats on d woman u pple will rember bible versus and turn 2 pastors over night. Mtchewwwwww

  162. That’s ok! But my question is would the woman also be forgiven if she cheats? The man will never let it go! Never! Women, its a mans world o. So make sure u get a life of ur own even if u r married! Bcos if u leave am when he cheat, na u go suffer am pass. In matter of months he will re marry. Do life the Igbo woman style. Enjoy ur life and leave very little room for anyone to hurt u. Most men cannot be satisfied!

  164. Cheating is not only through sex. Some of us get this twisted many a times. Besides it’s not only men who cheats, women does same. In my opinion, There’s only one solution when cheating creeps into a relationship/marriage, walk away.

  205. And when he cheats again and again again, forgive him again and again and again and when he eventually afflict you with diseases forgive him still and regret why you never left when he cheated on you the first time hahhahahaah am outta here

  210. Am yet to knw Y it must always be the woman that wl forgive an adulterous man. Y a woman shd always be the one undergoing heart attack. Una dey craze? To tell me to forgive a man who intentionally commits evil.

  211. Tell yourself that. People should be realistic. Why cheat? If you could not mind to hurt her, why want to be near her, so that every look at you will remind her of the pain. Anger and hurt killing her. She turns to a different person because of her pain, she nags, disrespect you, distrust you, deny you of sex because she can’t stand you near her seeing you with another woman and the thought of infections too. She feels a great void and pains, wants it all to go away. Some feels like cheating back will take the pain away, give them closure and bring them peace and when a woman cheats back, the family is completely ruined.

    Not good for children seeing their parent fight always and they wouldn’t know the reason and the case of disease in this era of contagious disease should be greatly avoided. Its good for one parent to stay alive to take care of the children in case of disease. When one parent is careless, the other should divorce him so that she can care for the children in case of death of HIV etc out they.

    There is nothing like not forgiving, but living with the person is the problem. And you all that talks of the person that divorces a partner because of cheat commits adultery when marry another should go back and read the bible again. Matthew 19: 8

  216. @ Vivian amy i dnt think you study ur bible, d bible allows separation when spouses cheat(adultery) @ monday u are wrong when dey wnt to stone d woman my JESUS intervene nd dia own sin did nt allow dem to punish her nd dey left in shame. My fellow women marriage is nt a tick to heaven is better for u to be alive nd take care of ur children from a distance dan living under dsame roof wt a cheat nd carry disease n die. Heaven may nt even forgive u cos u r nt wise.

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