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Home Social Media Funk

“Her Mother-In-Law Wants To Move In Permanently With Them”

Daniel Oyetoro by Daniel Oyetoro
October 18, 2016
Reading Time: 1 min read
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How many of you would not mind your mother Inlaw who just retired and is not sick or needing medical attention come and live with you and hubby permanently?!

My friend’s mother Inlaw is planning to do this. My friend is not comfortable with it at all but has resigned her mind to it.

The mother Inlaw often visits them and spends weeks and months with them even though she does not get along with the wife. The wife told me the mama never wanted her first son to marry and would have preferred he continues to bear children outside wedlock. He had a child before marriage. They have children of theirs now.

Sincerely, I can’t understand the rationale behind a mother moving into her son’s house without invitation or permission. Is it fair?

Note -she has a married daughter o. Is it not better for her to live with her daughter if her and her daughter in-law don’t get along? This lady now has strong cause to believe the mama is out to break her home. Would she now be receptive to her coming to live with them permanently?

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Comments 113

  1. Charles Akpodor says:
    10 years ago

    Dear sister, d devil is planning 2 movin with u permanently, pls resist it with your strength n mighty. No gree o.

    Reply
  2. Annabel Blessed Imoh says:
    10 years ago

    common tunde!, u have no right to abuse her mum not talk of calling her witch, it’s a matter which people share different view n points..mind you, not all mother go along with their daughter inlaw,some mother inlaw are d cause of broken marriage today.

    Reply
  3. Lily Oge says:
    10 years ago

    Jibulu Waheed she says parminantly,is nt fair my dear is better she comes n go

    Reply
  4. Kachi Stephanie says:
    10 years ago

    No gree at all

    Reply
  5. Gift Becky says:
    10 years ago

    You r in trouble

    Reply
  6. Jesse Sa'adu says:
    10 years ago

    Tell ur pastor

    Reply
  7. Lily Oge says:
    10 years ago

    Even if u treat her like angels,is better she comes n go,if she dosent wnt to stay in d Villa fyn ur huxbnd shld rent an apartment for her

    Reply
  8. Jibulu Waheed Olutunde Tunapersie says:
    10 years ago

    Annabel Blessed Imoh I ain’t no motherfucker who go around social Media wasting his hard earned data to abuse or insult people.
    But Ibiye Daju should have bite what she can chew, she got what she bargained for when she called my opinion rubbish.
    Perhaps, she maybe talking from experience, maybe her mother is victimizing her daughter in laws who knows?

    Reply
  9. Opeloyeru Nafisat says:
    10 years ago

    Ehn?? She’s in for big wahala

    Reply
  10. Chinonso Umeh says:
    10 years ago

    then u try to move along with her

    Reply
  11. Edoni Mercy Joseph says:
    10 years ago

    Prayers

    Reply
  12. Opeloyeru Nafisat says:
    10 years ago

    Dey there…. If you don’t know, good women hardly meet good mother in laws…. Its just a case of reverse luck

    Reply
  13. Caroline Adejoh Edwin says:
    10 years ago

    Some mother in-law sha. Moving in to come and do what? To destroy the marriage nau.

    Reply
  14. Anita Ola says:
    10 years ago

    move in permanently? lol she nor get house?? hahahahaha young lady just in case ur husband is cool wit dis ridiculous idea, E don red o Dis Means War! u better go get ur prayer gear on!

    Reply
  15. Maudlyn George says:
    10 years ago

    Mother in law live with ur husband na let her live with her husband…simple! Don’t leave ur husband n coman spoil another person happiness

    Reply
  16. Maudlyn George says:
    10 years ago

    But is it suppose to be so?are mothers suppose to be living in their sons house?

    Reply
  17. Alex Ube says:
    10 years ago

    Mu dear, hw u treat yr mother inlaw bcs tomorrow u wil. bcom some body’s inlaw. Humble yrsef b prayerful always, u wil overcome. God bls u

    Reply
  18. Veronica Nma says:
    10 years ago

    As for me, if she is a good woman then you just have to accept her in your home but if she is bad that never sees any thing you do good, just avoid her by going to visit her and not her coming to your home because both of you will have issues that might make her to go wit anger and then it will become a family problem, there are people that you can never please, so my dear use morning to look for a black goat because at night, it might be difficult to find,

    Reply
  19. Precillia Nte says:
    10 years ago

    Madam am praying for my own to come and visit and also help to take care of his grand children,… Am tired to be alone especially when nobody is at home to take care of my kids,..my maid is punishing my kids,….what advice do you need when your mother in-law want to visit you,….
    Even if she is troublesome try and play some sensitive part that she will came down

    Reply
  20. Marian Issa Bae says:
    10 years ago

    My dear, d day she moves in is d day ur marriage ll begin to fall apart
    On no circumstances I repeat no circumstances at all shud u allow her in

    Reply
  21. Elechi Dency Ahworegba says:
    10 years ago

    This advice get kleg abeg

    Reply
  22. Gloria Banku says:
    10 years ago

    And so what

    Reply
  23. Oma Chijioke says:
    10 years ago

    Haaaa, permanently ke, no ooo.

    Reply
  24. Meg Oshiegbu says:
    10 years ago

    Hmm wahala dey oh plenty wahala. May God help u

    Reply
  25. Ike Arum says:
    10 years ago

    Wat feeling are you talking about @vivian she hv nothing to discuss with her husband if she don’t want it like that, it means she had a hidden agenda, offcurse just put yourself in the shoe of that woman, she might have no one else except only that one son, nd she may have grow old by age nd finally his son wants to move her in so that she will be properly taken care of, nd his wife will begin to feel somehow unhappy, my dear i tell you such a woman can kill her husband even before his time.

    Reply
    • Lizzy Babe says:
      10 years ago

      U can’t do that directly there is way of showing it to her n besides if she wants to take the role of your woman in the house what will u do she want to cook for u often she wants to dress u up when u get to work choose the meal for the day yes she can do that but when is often n always dictating what to do in the house no mother inlaw dearest no i wont accept iy but will never confront her never i think i will take a walk to my family as well my dear tell me how will ur wife n mother of your kids feel if it comes to that

      Reply
    • Ike Arum says:
      10 years ago

      Nice talk, wen it becomes practical, it will be a different game,i like dat, I’m happy you hv wisdom,i wish you best of luck

      Reply
  26. Cyndy Tonia says:
    10 years ago

    LOL

    Reply
  27. Glory Okotie says:
    10 years ago

    Eunice Imade Edo she no get husband house? And again both of them don’t see eye to eye…….. my husband go choose ooooo…..

    Reply
  28. Mohammed Nazifi says:
    10 years ago

    I prepare my mother more than any woman as I can divorce my wife and marry another but I cannot change my mother. So try and show love, caring and compassion to her she will be by your side at any moment otherwise if you hate her she will call for your divorce and that will be the end for the love he has on you. God forbid!

    Reply
    • Amenze Aimiehinor Kazeem says:
      10 years ago

      Just listen to your self

      Reply
    • Onyinye Okoye says:
      10 years ago

      Oga u are just a Muslim man u dont know what this is all about,all u know is divorce and nothing else just shut up please

      Reply
    • Mohammed Nazifi says:
      10 years ago

      Even under Christian marriages I used to see divorce petitions in various courts so you better shut up madam!

      Reply
    • Tracy Imohi says:
      10 years ago

      Did you know d law that follows marriage?? Anyway, u are a Muslim how will u know… It is written “man shall live his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one” if your mother had been divorced by ur father bcos of ur grand mother maybe u would not be born. If you will forever remain a mummy’s boy better don’t go and put another woman’s daughter in ur house as a wife to torture her emotions. Marriage is meant for mature minds not for those that are tired to the hem of their mothers wrapper

      Reply
    • Mohammed Nazifi says:
      10 years ago

      Victoria ejim you will first marry your father, idiot.

      Reply
    • Anita Isreal says:
      10 years ago

      See advice, mtchew

      Reply
    • Adedeji Olumide Abimbola says:
      10 years ago

      Interestingly interesting

      Reply
    • Grace Oriaku says:
      10 years ago

      Abeg grow up mummy’s boy

      Reply
    • Abilitee Jay says:
      10 years ago

      Why e be say anybody when them dey call Mohammed nor dey get sense sef? This is not the first Mohammed when nor get sense. Just nor marry just stay with your mama. Abi you think say people when done marry dey take of their wife nor love their mama? Rubbish advice from a cow Brian.

      Reply
    • Imadiyi Samson says:
      10 years ago

      You are a typical village boy that refuse to grow up so uncivilized comments.. are u not ashame of what you are typing… if you prefer your mother morthan any other woman why Sid u marry … How will u feel if the father of your wife is comming to stay with u permanently… such a pity…

      Reply
    • Mohammed Nazifi says:
      10 years ago

      Pls I rest my case!

      Reply
    • Ugochi Ahuchogu says:
      10 years ago

      Lol ?

      Reply
  29. Ladidi Kallamu says:
    10 years ago

    Trouble dey for your site sis, too much pressure dey wait for you dear pele ooh. Wishing you God’s wisdom

    Reply
  30. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    Jibulu Waheed Olutunde Tunapersieis a pure mummies boy husband… My mother dis, my mother dat, Y not marry ur mother

    Reply
  31. John A Esizorbor says:
    10 years ago

    she is the mother to a man you married

    Reply
  32. Ladidi Kallamu says:
    10 years ago

    Thank you sis

    Reply
  33. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    or go read ur Bible and find out wat God who created marriage said,!!! A man & a woman will come together, & become 1!!!!!!.. & not a man, a woman & family members will come together, & become 1!!!!!

    Reply
  34. Amenze Aimiehinor Kazeem says:
    10 years ago

    Omo see gobe omo see gobe eh u better. Try to understand her for peace to reign

    Reply
  35. Euny Euny says:
    10 years ago

    Dont get along? WHY

    Reply
  36. Tseayo Rita says:
    10 years ago

    Haaa

    Reply
  37. Patience Egherevba Oboyo says:
    10 years ago

    My dear poster READY to pack to your father’s house

    Reply
  38. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    read ur Bible and find out wat God who created marriage said,!!! A man & a woman will come together, & become 1!!!!!!.. & not a man, a woman & family members will come together, & become 1!!!!!…. Major issues Nigeria homes have, dey put dey mother b4 Der wives, forgetting dat ur mother is somebody’s wife “ur father” live ur parents home!!!!!! & go make urs!!!!!!!

    Reply
  39. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    May god never allow me to become a foolish mother & mother-in-law…..
    ***How can a woman leave her home & go to another persons home uninvited,spend 1year together with a couple in 1roomself contain …(if am d husband of such woman,I’ll bring her remaining properties,since na her pikin house dey shark her pass)…even if it’s a mansion …not in my(Mercy Omoye Maxwell) home I need privacy!!!!!!! We want to eat rice bcs of u we now have to eat fufu…
    ***be smart !!! Let ur children miss u & invite u ,& even wen u come,play with dem not cause trouble & insist on leaving on time …give urself respect…it hard for some people,but it’s d truth!!!!
    ***Dats d issue with most homes Today dey put Der mother,etc above der husband/wife ..God said a man & a woman shall leave der parents house !!!!!!!! & be 1 !!!!!!!(dat means every other tin is secondary)….
    ****Carry ur bags & carry ur mind too out of dat house!!!!!!!dats ur mother home…U go make ur own!!!!!
    ***a person dat can not say no!!!!! To wrong deeds regardless who d order is from & who he/she maybe disobeying!!!..he / she is immature !!! For marriage…bcs d devil is going to use people to destroy ur home ….ur mum say marry New wife..U marry ,before u come from work she & ur sister beat her..U come & tell her(ur wife) nonsense!!!!!!,u can’t defend her,u ‘re more foolish dan d devil!!!!

    Reply
    • Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
      10 years ago

      & many families has ignored it

      Reply
  40. Amenze Aimiehinor Kazeem says:
    10 years ago

    Lmao

    Reply
  41. Esir Hajara says:
    10 years ago

    Haha…nice one

    Reply
  42. Courage Omoregbee says:
    10 years ago

    Seek divine instructions on what to do,and if what she always wants you to do is contrary to the will of God,please don’t fail to stop her.

    Reply
  43. Sylvia Ayuk says:
    10 years ago

    That is your only home. It is a place that has to bring you peace of mind and rest. So if anyone, including your mother in law is going to compromise that, do not accept it. Why should she move in with you to start with? What happened to her own house? Is it for a visit or permanently? If it is for a visit, then try and tolerate and show her love, for the sake of peace and for your husband. If it’s permanently categorical NO.

    Reply
  44. Mayryquin Eyo says:
    10 years ago

    To me o,she jst av to learn aw to go along wit her bcuz she is her mother -in-law.Av we askd ourselves this,wat if she was her mum wont she do evrytin possible to cope wit her?wld she be sad over her coming to stay?

    Reply
  45. Lalais Maryam says:
    10 years ago

    What is wrong.. you should be happy. bcos. what men of today use to do .u will be exceptional bcos his mother is thr. so he will be reasonable al the time. The solution is love her like ur mother.

    Reply
  46. Mayryquin Eyo says:
    10 years ago

    Lol@dency

    Reply
  47. Victoria Ejim says:
    10 years ago

    Yes na senior, some mother in laws can b very frustrating. Esp if its their only son, if u eat, na war, u don’t problem.

    Reply
  48. Obi Uchenna Blessing says:
    10 years ago

    Madam assume her to be your mother,treat and attend to her as your mother and have it in mind that you will be a mother in-law someday,having all this in mind there will be peace and love in your home and you will thank God she joined you

    Reply
  49. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    No no

    Reply
  50. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    Moving in with u, will do more harm than good

    Reply
    • Okeke Miracle says:
      10 years ago

      Yes

      Reply
  51. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    Yes

    Reply
  52. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    Even if it’s my mum, she don’t have any right to stay with me, unless it’s a visit

    Reply
  53. Promise Ann Angel says:
    10 years ago

    I have being living wit my mother inlaw 4 some yrs now and she is the best mum ever! So i see nothing wrong wit her coming to stay cause if it is ur own mum u wont get throw her out, just make a room avaliable 4 her, take her as ur own mum cause tomorrow u will be a mother inlaw, what goes around comes around!

    Reply
    • Prince Olisa says:
      10 years ago

      Mind you they are few like that not even up to 3%

      Reply
  54. Winnie-chy Chy says:
    10 years ago

    You say ur name is glory?%-) I knw ur type,u’re the type that will go the extrd mile of licking both ur husband’s and mother in law’s butts and will even ask if dy’s more 2 lick. 4get abt the trash you’re sayn here… You’re a woman,you will grow old someday 2 become someone’s mother in law ie if u like

    Reply
  55. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    Winnie cut, y will her mother in-laws leave with her in the first place, assuming it a visit, it would have been better. As much as I love my mum, she can’t stay with me unless it’s a visit

    Reply
    • Ugochi Ahuchogu says:
      10 years ago

      Oyewole Anike she controlled her husband and the daughter in law did not control her father in law, so if her daughter in law wants to feel to be in control of feminine decisions concerning her husband, the mother in law should let them be. Even the Bible asked the man to leave his father and mother, and cling to his wife. Someone does not need to live with you to honour one as a child. When they are ill, you bring them for medical treatment. They can visit you, and you ensure to visit them and listen to them. A wise mother will prefer to respect herself and remain in her husband’s house, where she belongs.

      Reply
  56. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    Winnie-chy Chy,abeg let me hear word, when u get married u will understand

    Reply
  57. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    God bless u

    Reply
  58. Winnie-chy Chy says:
    10 years ago

    Dnt mind these aggressive yet desperate ladies here that are saying otherwise

    Reply
  59. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    I concur

    Reply
  60. Anita Isreal says:
    10 years ago

    Mtchew

    Reply
  61. Prince Olisa says:
    10 years ago

    Everything is wrong about that idea even with her own mother too, ppl should understand that coz I have had such experience so let dat woman stay on her own unless she’s not feeling well

    Reply
  62. Ngodi Talatu says:
    10 years ago

    Take everything to GOD in prayer he will see you through.

    Reply
  63. Amina Muhammad Waziri says:
    10 years ago

    if u have another extension in d house better but if not …….

    Reply
  64. Lilian Yachiga Mallum says:
    10 years ago

    For weting, is her house taking over by Flood?

    Reply
  65. Grace Babajo says:
    10 years ago

    Hmmm is a pity that some of us fail to realize that some men prefer their mum to live in their own house than leaving her all by herself. What if The man is her only son? With all your reply on my comment shows that none of you guys will allow your mum to live in your house well is a pity. Remember our mothers took good care of us while we were young now that it is your turn to retaliate why complain?? Please guys let’s learn to show our parents some love especially when they are old nothing can replace the love of a mother not even your wife take my advice ??

    Reply
  66. Joseph Mariam says:
    10 years ago

    Welcome her and treat her just like your mother, change ur attitude towards her,know her likes and dislikes may be through ur Husband. Cause girly I tell u if u are not in good terms with ur mother inlaw….. Your days in marriage may be limited. Another woman might just take over ur kitchen, living room and other room oo

    Reply
  67. Winnie-chy Chy says:
    10 years ago

    Anita Israel,u wnt me 2 notice u,nah! I can’t stoop dt low. U get!

    Reply
  68. Winnie-chy Chy says:
    10 years ago

    Anita,if u care to knw 22nd of Oct wil make it 2 wks I got married. Continue looking for ur imagery mother-in-law

    Reply
  69. Golden Shekel says:
    10 years ago

    Nice words

    Reply
  70. Golden Shekel says:
    10 years ago

    She said she wants to move in permanently,like seriously permanently.my own mom will not leave wif me permanently with the exception if she’s sick and aged.she mared nw y would she left her husbands house and decide to leave wit d son that’s complete nonsense her plan is to monitor the moves of the wife

    Reply
  71. Ikediala Peace says:
    10 years ago

    The truth is that according to the Bible a man shall leave his father and mother and cling unto his wife. Is not bad to have your mother in-law around or any of your in-laws but the truth is that they will pork nose on everything you do before you know problem will begin to set in. They can pay you a visit no problem but if a hand shake exceed the palm then I have nothing to say. Same goes to my own mother and siblings.

    Reply
  72. Uchy Chris says:
    10 years ago

    Young lady with big sense

    Reply
  73. Uchy Chris says:
    10 years ago

    There is nothing like marrying his mum in this matter I hv been married for more than 14 yrs so as a wife u hv to find a balance his mother cannot live with u forever use maturity etc remember one day u will grow old to become a mother in law too

    Reply
  74. Osefoh B Nkiruka says:
    10 years ago

    What is wrong with that, you should see your mumsy inlaw like your mum. I don’t know why this generation of girls are so mean to their inlaw forgetting that she would become mother inlaw someday. Ekenekwee mu unu

    Reply
  75. Grace Oriaku says:
    10 years ago

    Must she move in with you,can’t they get her an accommodation for her to stay on her own if her hubby is late.

    Reply
  76. Grace Oriaku says:
    10 years ago

    Abegi,even Bible says a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to her husband/wife.

    Reply
  77. Ijeokwu Praise says:
    10 years ago

    For real I like staying with my mother in-law, I so much love her some year we stay althrough ,my dear just love her ,take her like ur own mother and everything will be easy for u

    Reply
  78. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    Jibulu Waheed Olutunde Tunapersieis, read ur Bible & read it with understanding!!!!!!

    Reply
  79. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    Help ur relative… Not pack dem to ur house

    Reply
  80. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    Honour ur parents in way of d Lord!!!!!!! Not against d way if d Lord, u can’t go & steal & dey will free u bcs ur parents ask u to steal!!!

    Reply
  81. Chinyere Chukwu says:
    10 years ago

    So what if she’s not feeling well?? as for me nothing is wrong with that idea, this our civilisation is not going to work here, this place is not like western world where they have old people’s home, we should understand that, a mother is a mother, a wife is a wife, nothing in common.

    Reply
  82. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    Ur wife answers ur name!!!!!! U re now 1!!!!in unity!!!!! As she is so re u, ur wife is u in another Body, so treat her with respect bcs u re also treating urself with respect……

    Reply
  83. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    Don’t scatter ur own home by pleasing family members

    Reply
  84. Mercy Omoye Maxwell says:
    10 years ago

    & jibulu, do u always get along with your mother!!??????

    Reply
  85. Oluchi Paul Nora says:
    10 years ago

    Talk to ur God In prayer is only him that can Seattle it for u,tears can’t do it ur hubby can’t only pray.

    Reply
  86. Wisdom Akpan says:
    10 years ago

    What comes around goes around. Remember one day u ar going to be a mother in-law.

    Reply
  87. Precious Ropalia says:
    10 years ago

    Where do you want her to go. Was she not permanently with UA husband before you came. But your own mother can stay. You are a very wicked fool

    Reply
  88. Helen Ibrahim says:
    10 years ago

    Be prayer full and show Lov

    Reply
  89. Imadiyi Samson says:
    10 years ago

    Nice comments from you… but the lady think or taught she married a man… but the truth is that she just marry a boy

    Reply
  90. Lilian Chidiebere says:
    10 years ago

    whether you are getting along or not she can’t move in with you guys except she’s visiting

    Reply
  91. Patty Okwuii says:
    10 years ago

    “Onye fee Eze, Eze elo ya”, allow d poor woman to enjoy d fruit of her labour.soon u become mother in law,will u like to be chase out frm ur son?,jst cool down hw many yrs hv d woman to stay?

    Reply
  92. Ugochi Ahuchogu says:
    10 years ago

    Mayryquin Eyo it’s not relationship. Some mothers have the common sense to let their children build their own home without interference. It’s decorum and common sense.

    Reply
  93. Ugochi Ahuchogu says:
    10 years ago

    Some don’t know their limit. Ijs

    Reply
  94. Ugochi Ahuchogu says:
    10 years ago

    Not everybody is overcome by love (true and innocent love) If it is so, the love I showed to someone close to me (by blood) yet she wants me dead. If someone hates you, if you want show them love and be foolish thinking that they will not hurt you if opportunity arises simply because you show them love. I laugh out loud… Why do they ask the parents and families of the couple to give them space. So that they can build their own home with a free environment void of interferences.

    Reply
  95. Sussy Anita says:
    10 years ago

    Sandra Ezechukwu we are both sayin d same tin.I won’t allow my moda to go and stay in my elder brother’s house instead she shld go to my elder sister’s place cos mother in-laws can tolerate their daughter bt not their daughter inlaw

    Reply

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