Dear Uncle Donny,


How are you doing sir, how is Melanin? How is Barron? How’s Junior? How’s the whole of the Trumpet family? You all have very weird names, I must confess.

Sir, straight to matters arising. I’m sure you are aware of the emotional storm across the world over your alleged comment that certain places in the world are SHs.

Sir, this is a collective insult which is proportionally injurious to all Africans and people of black origin who like to hear the truth; “The truth” and nothing else which has made our continent the pride and envy of other continents, yours inclusive!

How dare you insult a land flowing with milk, sugar & honey, so abundant that our people run from it (like a diabetic patient run from sugar) to Spain, Italy, France & even Australia or anywhere the feet takes us even at the cost of our lives.

Sir, let’s be very clear. Our leaders do not say deplorable comments (like yours) to us, they’ve been so loving, kind & innovative that they even help keep our national treasure & collective wealth in your country & western allies for safe keep.

They know we don’t need these funds and in our best interest they stack them away to avoid wastages. This is why we are ready and willing to go to war and shed blood for our political leaders.

Sir, can you not see how we Africans have contributed immensely & in significantly high comparative proportion to the development of the world in areas of science, technology, research & development.

Uncle Trumpet, that Africans wallow in poverty, diseases, starvation, hopelessness, illiteracy, tribalism, violence, dictatorialism, crime, kleptocracy and many other inhumane conditions of life are an illusion that doesn’t exist.

The statistics that says most African countries depend on foreign aid for survival and live below $1 per day are false. Sir, kindly use your good office to stop these reports, they are FAKE NEWS!

Let me refresh your memory sir. On Jan 7, 2015, 7 people were killed in a terrorist attack in France; On that same day, over 2000 people were killed in Northern Nigeria. Just to show how educated, enlightened, informed & “current” we are with World News, we abandoned our own people & feign ignorance to show solidarity with the “rest of the world” in condemning terrorism against the French, 7 is a greater number than 2000 in Africa especially when the 2000 are “just abokis”, sir! We are not a “shithole” people!

Sir! Show us some respect! Our youths are vastly intelligent & knowledgeable as ubiquitously descried on the pages of our SMs where we offer advice to everyone in every area of life.

We know rocket science more than your ineffectual NASA, we know relationship & life issues more than the incompetent duo of Dr. Phil & Oprah, we know business more than Bill, Buffets and yourself sir! This is why we live rich, large & luxurious lifestyles.

Uncle Donny, just because our political leaders send their children & families to your country is a testimony that our leaders love us so much.

They are preparing them for tomorrow, to let them know how disadvantaged and less privileged citizens of your nation are in comparison to the rich & luxurious lifestyles we in Africa live.

Sir, I have to stop here, I pray your Director of Protocol is not an African, for a letter this lengthy may never be read and will end up in the trash can. If, however you are reading this, I pray God grant you the heart to retrace your opinion of Africa as a shithole. God bless you, God Bless America and God bless the World.

P.S Keep this anonymous!

Yours Faithfully, Johnny Babybrain! (@johnnyjamjam)



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