“Dear Nigerian graduates, it is not by pouring water” — Open Letter to Nigerian Graduates

Dear Nigerian graduates, it is not by pouring water

I’ve been a Nigerian since I was born and I know how we sometimes behave like we’re sick in the head.

Honestly, I have been trying to understand the rationale behind this pouring water thing after your final paper. What are the benefits economically, financially, intellectually and other wise?

I don’t know who came up with this ritual and I find it really exhausting.

Celebration? Of what exactly?

You know, sometimes, I talk and people say God forbid snapping their fingers towards my direction.

I laugh and pray for them because they are in a long distance relationship with reality.

Celebrating your graduation with pouring water and the extra madness that comes with it shows how we are not well.

When I graduated from a college of education, did I pour water?

Yes I did.

Why?

Because I was mad at the time.

Listen, celebrating your graduation is fine but see it as cleaning your shoes on a foot mat before walking into a sand dune. Or washing your hands before you sweep your compound.

See how pointless it is?

The politicians who should be threatened that a new crop of smart chaps are coming out of schools will see you people trending on social media with water all over you and laugh.

Why? That is all shade of not being serious.

There are no jobs in place for you people. You will go to those smelly NYSC camps and fall sick. They will owe you 19 thousand that you can easily get by playing few odds with 3k. They will frustrate you.

From punishment to punishment.

After the punishment of being Nigerian, you go through the punishment of going to a Nigerian school, then again, you go through a euphemized punishment titled NYSC.

Finally, the real punishment comes when jobs see you and run away because you don’t want to sleep with the interview people or you don’t have money to secure the job.

You know what? Many people will shout God forbid from semester to semester and yet nothing happened.

You graduated from school but nothing graduated inside you and you have the hand to pour water?

Pray karma doesn’t kick you on the balls.

To the new graduates, I wish you people well. But, be ready for reality.

You think you can pour water?

Pray reality doesn’t drench you with the slimy liquid of frustration.

Until then, work hard and pray let’s see how it goes.

Cheers.

Written by Mark Anthony Osuchukwu.

Mark Anthony Osuchukwu is a young writer that doesn’t respect himself. You can reach him via [email protected]