Honestly I’m not sure what’s going on in my marriage. Sometimes, I think I’m losing my mind for no reason. Then again, I feel something really wrong is going on. Let me give a bit of background.
I’m in my early 30s and I’ve been married for about 3 years without kids. My husband and I live in a European country and we have a great relationship. I have a BFF, let’s call her X.
She’s about my age but older by two years. Our parents worked for the same oil company and were very friendly with each other. We both went to the same secondary school in Nigeria, ended up in the West together for uni and have had loads of fun times together.
She knew my husband from the days of toasting to dating and marriage. To be fair to her, she has been so supportive. When I had no one or money difficulties as a student, she was there for me in a way no one could. A friend who is closer than a sister.
My problem is with her closeness with my husband. My husband and I are not from the same tribe. When marrying overseas, you can’t be filtering for tribe. However, X is from the same tribe as my husband.
Sometimes, the way they gist in their local dialect makes me uncomfortable, always laughing crazily like teenagers. In all my years of marriage, I haven’t enjoyed that the banter that they have.
Whenever when they discuss in English like when we all hang out together, I feel like the third wheel. Sometimes, my gut tells me she is flirting with him with her general body language and the way she makes faces at him. The fact that X was she was a wild chic at university just makes uneasy.
My husband doesn’t even seem to restrain her or himself, like I think a married man should. She hasn’t done anything overt. It is the nudging him in the ribs, the rubbing of his head or even gentle tugging of his beard that is making me go crazy. The way she laughs at his jokes; jokes that are not even funny. She is too damn relaxed in his presence.
She has even this nickname for him in their dialect. When my hubby got a promotion and we all went out to eat, X came to the restaurant dressed to the nines and wearing this incredible fragrance. Then she gave him this bear hug that I felt lasted for too long. I don’t feel all this is normal but I don’t want to be a prude.
I know she is not seeing anyone, she would tell me if so. Her life has been a bit scattered so she hasn’t cultivated a serious relationship. She’s prettier than I am and I know she shouldn’t have any problem attracting guys.
What can I do? I can’t just cut her off abruptly or ban her from her house. It would be odd and besides, we have a lot of mutual friends. To be fair to my husband, he hasn’t given me any tangible reason to be suspicious but you know what they say about naija men.
I don’t know of anytime they have been in the same place without my knowledge. But he is not helping matters the way he always invites her for events or compliments her or things like that.
I can’t confront husband because I may be making a mountain out of a mole-hill. The last thing I want is to be called a jealous wife. I can’t tell my parents because they never supported my marriage from the outset (tribal issues) and I want to prove them wrong.
I already have enough stress from work and trying to start a family. I feel so worn out. What do I do?
give her rat poison
Just pray for God intervention
My dear! Try and separate them as fast as you can o! For ur own good!!!
What goes around comes around
Tell her to still away from both you and your husband
Ah seperate them my sister. I beg u oh
You better separate them fast, this model life babe
Asks her what dose she want from you or your home confront her imedately or do you want the lose your home not fighting with her
Please wat goes around comes back around, if she hasn’t slept with someone’s husband it won’t happen to her. Advice pple candidly
I don’t agree wit u many women got married as a virgin but der husband still play d unfaithful game
Yes I agree with you she shouldn’t waste time
Lol.. “if she hasn’t slept with someone else’s husband, it won’t happen to her”. You must be joking @ Tini. Men that will marry a small naive virgin girl and still be sleeping around, does that mean the girl slept with someone else’s husband in spirit?
If you love ur hussy, separate them,but if u do not love him let her have him(i mean ur friend)
Then your husband na womanizer
Talk to your husband about that let him know that you or comfortable for that
Maybe ur best friend was d one DAT connected u and ur husband. I guess she knew him before u. Just try and tell ur husband in a polite and respectful way that u don’t like the way they re close. Talk to him about it OK. I do hope he understand and do something about it.
Check yourself very well, if you have ever gone close to someone’s hubby, What goes around turns around. Respect
lol
Lol,i lv ds
You can share ur hubby with her how can you be this careless ?
Nawa.oooo. Nigerian ladies Lack mentality. they cannot trust their fellow woman. so if your friend is close to your husband dose it mean she is dating your husband. we men always trust ourselves. I always leave my girlfriend with my Guy to look after her when ever I travelled cos I trust and I cannot suspect him. if u don’t cheat on your husband u will not suspect your best friend
Yhuu too much!!!2humb up
Your type no get duplicate
Everything about you is senseless. After insulting Hilda Dokubo, you are here vomiting worms and maggots. You are just a pain in the neck.
Lollllllll one day u will come bk and meet them married…. Rubbish
See mumu of d highest order.
Some pple lack manners, u re notin but a fool… U were answer simple question or drop ur pic of advice, u re there calin Nigerian girls… U re a disappointment to all guys.. Shit
Imagine .ok let me put it straight if you are married please make sure your wife shares everything including your bedroom with your best friend ok.
My frd everybody is nt d same for dis buhari recession
Live trust out of dis
Abeg ooo prevention is better Dan cure abeg dnt get close to, y husband if sisters can take dey sisters husband den whats dere UT mere friends dat are nt related to u abeg she should take time oo
I greet u
Until you get a son that resembles your best friend.
Am not surprised to seeing many ladies going against seeing they friend being too close to her husband,is because many of those girls that are complaining are the one that love dating married men, when them know very well that man his married man,them still went ahead to date him, what goes around come around…
Hehe jst continous loookinq is d best answer untill u see dem maried one day #lol
Ur friend dey fuck your girl behind your back
See mumu no know
she na d married men that come after d ladies?
guy u are on the long tin , wake up oh
Little girl wake up. Friends re bad oooo, u don’t know her mission
kill her trust me it will end
Kill urself ,fool.
Y the name,she just need ur advice not call her names
U u fooling urself….showing ur ignorance on social media
You lack happiness that’s why you are so aggressive
@Tini,see ur face like thief, ugly goat
@mizter u are an idiot
Am speechless again.
kill yhur self
Your question is like asking I have a goat and it likes coming close to my yam,should I be worried???if you have another yam,you can take the risk and find out if the goat will eat the yam,if not carry your yam commot near the goat.
Correct
What an example!! Chaii i hail you.
Hahaha its funny
Sideso Lauretta
Lol
That is eehhh… Fact.
Goat go chop the yam and run away oooo
Well explained
Exactly
Excellent comments
lwkmd
Lol nice one
Guy u just talk am
On point
Gbam!
Lolssss
What an epic answer. Lol
Ahahahahah ahahahahahahaha ahahahahah can’t stop laughing or better still pursue the goat away from the yam cos my type I love to eat yam that dose not belongs to m lolss
in parable I love this
Put poison for food am!
Am sure u knew him tru your best friend..suck it up!
MY BROTHER, U SPOKE WELL
Call her to order now if you suspect anyhow movement
If she is married, get closer to her husband too. Lobatan
Lol
Abi?
Girl u be bad gal
Oh yes ! n u will see the way it will change
Yes oooooo
The table will turn immediately, the hunter will become the hunted
Hahahahahaha
Hahahaha
Hahahahaha, the best comment so far # the hunter will become the hunted# lols
But she is not married nor dating anyone, according to the article. Wish it was the case though. Lol
There is notin to be scared of my dear……if u trust ur friend unless u hav done somtin lik dat to someonelse
What are you saying? I had my first relationship with a man in my final year. My first bf, slept with his blood brother’s girlfriend that I accommodated in my room. I took the bitch as my sister. I actually saved her life from an asthma attack by rushing her to the hospital with my savings. She survived and I brought her back to the hostel. I went to visit my dad and the bitch finally moved from flirting with the boy to sleeping with him. My first experience taught me never to trust nobody. I saw the signs but I felt she can’t do such with two brothers. She got close to him through me, acting like a future sister in law. I was dumb* to trust him, thinking that he loved his younger brother and would never want to dishonour him by f**king his girlfriend, but he did it behind my back. So, what are you trying to say? Did I snatch another person’s bf? No. Did I betray any of my girl friends? Hell no! Pain can happen to you, even when you have a good heart towards everyone. I am traditionally married and about to wed, but I trust nobody. No female that I know is close to my hubby and none that I know will ever be. Even his female cousins will not dare flirt with him in my presence. People don’t respect blood, talk more of loyalty.
Divorce him
Separate. Them
U too b too close to her husband lolz
Go huge transformer askn stupid question u don’t kn wot 2 do abi
Just tell her to stay away from ur family dt is all
Disassociate her from him
Look for a close wall… Use ur brain
,kill ammmmmmmm
my sista trust nobody o do u kno if she don taste hin cucumber sef
Leave De house for dem and travil… Question ewu
Are you asking us what to do you must be very stupid. And am sure your stupidity is worrying you by now . In fact idiot is your name. Just Wasting my mb to comment on this useless post. Ni sha
Cut off her head… Stupid question begin for Google’s answer.
You are stressing your mind. The problem here is that “she is too close to your husband” then your imagination keeps disturbing you. “Show me your friend, and I will teLl u who u are”.. You should know what your friend is capable of doing ( making your husband cheat on you). If she is that kind of person. Tell her to her face that she is coming too close to your husband and u don’t like it. Take serious action. Don’t mind if u lose the friendship.
The answer to your question isn’t what anyone can answer for you, you must answer it yourself and to get started, you will have to register for JAMB…
Talk 2ur hubby, tell him ure nt comfortable wit it.. no1 is 2b trusted.. and mistakes cud happn.. b wise!
Ara,why the mistreatment?
Seperate them and u avoid her
Dey there dey ask. Go and be close to her husband or boyfriend. You wan dull?
you are just giving yourself unnecessary headach…
Abeg go sleep with all dis lielie story when una dey post for Facebook becos of comment,joblesstin
Fake story
Do urs and c what will b d out come….. Stop being jealous ova someone’s happiness… That is y u will continue following odas at back, u cnt make out sometin out of ur own. That is y u will continue to fail
Nawa
If you don’t trust your friend open up and tell her to stay away from your husband
Desperate times calls for desperate action. Finish
Kill ur self
Do something fast bfr it will be too late,my dear wake up from your dream oooo and act fast
Lol, this post is funny. How did s get close to your husband? This isn’t something to worry about. Tell her you don’t like her closeness with you husband, she should know her boundaries. In fact she should stay away, If she won vex make she vex. There’s no best friend in marriage, your best friend is supposed to be your husband.
I agree but I think its her husband that she should talk to first. If he backs off, then she can now warn her with confidence. She is funny oh… Best friend in marriage that is not hubby? LMAO
Ugochi Ahuchogu u are right
Correct dear
For me i’ll say it in front of them both.
I did it to my frd,just last week she was too close to my husband so that last week the two of them where discussing I didn’t hid anything I came there and warn the two of them seriously I swear
Yes u’re right.
Tell her to stay away from your husband na abi no be you be her best friend? How the friendship come take connect your husband again?
Kill her!!!
And u r here asking, nonsense question. Oh, must u wait for public advice before u confront ur hubby on how u don’t feel comfortable with ur friend around him and that u love him and trust him and then u both politely tell ur friend to give u guys space and stay away from ur home. Anyway u brought d closeness u alone with wisdom got to end it with ur hubby’s support seeing his support ur friend will stay off and will not go sneaking behind u calling or talking to him. I hope u r friend and close enough to ur hubby to do this. Practice friendship with ur hubby,gist and relax him girl.
Best advice.
maybe u no get free Ming. Or less u do have done Whit someone
Plz the best thing is to depart for the lady, if not you are selling your man
How come you allowed your best friend get close to your husband and what were you thinking?your marriage is breaking up gradually. Be very wise
All depend on you,if you really know who your husband is,….if you trust your husband not your friend nothing will happen,…but if your husband still belong to the other room,.. Please stop your husband from your friend,….. Sound your friend a serious worning ,…..not by quelling your friend or husband,… But in a mature way,..becox I know what some women can do
JUST LET HER KNOW THAT, THE AREA IS GOING IS TOO FAR AND U HATE IT THAT WAY, SHE SHOULD BE CAREFUL ABOUT HER STEPS, COS U WILL NOT FORGIVE HER IF SHE MESS UP WITH UR HUSBAND
Poison her
Haaaaa Alhaja Zainab
Run 4 ur life,along wth hudy.
kill her na, stupid question
Hahaha… Your hubby should be your best friend. End the closeness immediately in the best way that you seem fit. Talk it out with your husband and say goodbye to that friendship. I hope it isn’t late already. You can’t keep a goat (hubby) tied to a tree (unnecessary friendship) along with a lion (so called best friend) You are asking for trouble. No female that I know is close to my hubby. He can keep “just” female friends from his office or past that should be well explained. However, for females that I know, he is off limit and the that’s my style. My hubby is my best friend since our dating days. Be wise and careful babe.
My dear, first of all there’s nothing like best friend these days, you hear a lot of people saying it, but it’s only few that believe in true friendship. So becareful with who you allow into your home and your man’s life.
U better do something b4 it’s out control
Fake story
U are about digging ur own grave.
Matured persons re talking, pple dat dnt ve anytin to say should get out…
No be u first introduce them ? Dey there may God just help u for this one wey u dey so
U will not do anything just pray for her to repent
Go close her husband. Too
Be careful. …
No way its not just right .please stop them before it’s too late.
U need to currit ✂✂✂
Omo no time
Are u afraid she will tell ur Husband ur Secrets?u better tell him by urself before ur partner do!
Than be more closer to him
Guide your marriage judiciously and jealously,there is no best friend in marriage better still cutt her off completely to avoid had i know at last.BEWISE.
Give her access to ur bedroom because she is ur best friend. So that the both of u can have best one husband.
Go very far from them
Investigate them before any action bc they may be innocent.
Wow what a funny post… Your husband is your own husband and your responsibility, please never allow your friend to be too close to your husband. So,the person who suppose to get rid of her ( your friend ) is you. Moreover your husband should be your best friend!!
Is ur friend married? If not den stop keeping girls dat are still single as friends ok, dis very one u talking of don’t be close wit her again bt don’t confront her nor ur husband, be at arms length wit her, in dis case if she has bin doing any funny tin wit ur hubby she will feel u av known n stay clear. Also b prayerful ok.
Some don’t care. They don’t even want to Know how you will feeling because they have mission
Even married female friends are off the limit when it comes to my hubby, because some married women are not satisfied with their husbands. Hahaha…
thanks sis.Peace for that, i have a nasty friend like that don’t read ones body language. so, as i blunt man that i am, i have to put it to him and since then i have peace in my house.
Kill her
good talk chris
sick post…
U have to find out what is bringing them close, then you know if you have to stop them by all means because it is dangerous
Call her to order
Hmmmm””” my dear sister U better becareful, bcus TWO things are involved, Is either she takes ur husband frm you or she finds a way of breaking ur home pls be wise. Go to God in prayers ask him to separate them or let there be confussion b/w then.
To avoid stories that touches the heart tell your girlfriend to stay away from your hubby Co’s there’s a limit to everything, and to crown it all a married woman ‘s best friend is supposed to be her hubby and no one else. You can’t keep a bone for a dog and tell it not to eat it neither will you keep a yam for a goat and it won’t eat it. I can’t even imagine how you allowed your girlfriend that close to your hubby! A word is enough for the wise.
u re right
I thought ur husband is suppose to be ur best friend ? Pls Na u brought her oooo u Na stop her. Cos for u to even voice it out meaning something strange is happening. Pray God intervine for u.
Chop bitter cola
U better dispatch them o
Quit the friendship with her, and save ur marriage
Give her run…
Tell her you don’t like her closeness to your husband period before she carry belle for your husband.
My dear,if u best Friend is well mannered she wnt be dat close to ur husband,infact nw dat ure married she is supposed to be seeing u once in a while to give u dat marital respect.my dear its not allowed tell her to stop coming dat close if not,any slite quarrel u nd ur hubby will have,he will take it to her nd trust me,men are like babies,if she shows him a little care he will succumb u will den be di bad person,things u dnt knw abut ur husband u will knw.so be wise friend no dey for dis one
Noting u bring dem more closer
Cut dat fucking best frnd friendship wit her, tell her u ar nt okay wit are frndship any more
I’m not surprised seeing many Ladies here now are good advisers and innocent,what will now happen to the ladies that love dating married men, oh…you want to be happy abi, when you’re single you make another woman cry,now you want have only your husband to your self alone it will not work, what goes around comes around…
Watch and continue thinking on what to do ur friend go help u manage ur man
Talk to your hubby about it. He might not actually see any big deal in him being too close to ur friend.
Stay here dey wet for advance OK no go do ur work hisssssssss
If truly is ur husband it’s better u loose d bad friend n keep ur marriage bcos God honoured marriage a lot except u have another one den u leave this one for ur friend dey no dey tell person
You’re scared because all of you are not born again, if you are a child of God u can’t be afraid nd more over if ur husband is born again the Word of God wud hve be more closer to him instead of ur girl friend!
My dear
I no knw wat to talk
Abeg go far, is she sleeping with him, why u dey talk against her like say u done catch her messing with ur man.u are not a good friend.
And as a good friend, it’s okay to flirt with your BFF husband? What a wonderful friend you must be, indeed!
U should fall dwn n die as yeye continue to smell
Kill her and kill yourself.. Your husband will understand.
Stop her b4 she takes over what is belong to u.
Chase her away with all your strength and might!!! So that you won’t come back here to tell us story that touches the heart.
Seriously speaking you cracked me up
Ajanu Okorocha Eberechi, pls I don’t take chances in such issues, to avoid husband snatching.
Just relax ur husband cannot do such thing
U cann’t trust any mortal, go into praying and ask God to seperate them and put eneminity btw the both
Be too close to her husband too.
Meanwhile ensure not to give her privacy with your husband.
Sometimes use indirect sarcasm to let her know you are uncomfortable with her presence around your hubby.
Sometimes remind her sarcastically that your home is monogamous.
Go hug transformer , otolo GBA GI they
Hahaha like my father once said ,if ur friend is found of liking anything that u liking always, den you have to cut him or her off or else ….she or him gonna get u killed just one day hahaha hey? Pls cuth her off just now as am seeing u OK
Not all friends can be trusted.. We hv some evil ones among friends that do envy der friends and do go extra mile to distroy ur marriage.& achieve der aim. Talk to ur hubby dat u’re not comfortable wit it, even ur hubby ex- still wishes to come back,, one should be wise & keep ur home jealously & wit prayers. Sometimes trust won’t be able to work out in dis issue, dat’s why we ladies shouldn’t be careless or hv carefree attitude. Silence sometimes doesn’t bring solution. GOD OF THUNDER will quench any friends or strange pple DAT want to destroy our marriage. AMEN Provided “IF” d woman is faithful to her husband.. Flew frm bad friend & keep less female friends ladies
Tell her to back off
If u don’t knw wat to do..my sister eat her oooo, Dats d best tin to do..
Nothing! just sit down and fold ur hands and watch dem…..u will soon become a second wife…
There is no problem
Na by force? Can’t you tell her u don’t like her relationship with your husband? Is as simple as that,talk it out with your husband too, and by the way u don’t really need single ladies as friends even married.your husband should be your best friend
Na take over things na
You should be closer to your husband than your friend then.
Abeg invite EFcc and police at d same time to investigate this matter.
Your friend and your husband should be two parallel lines….. Just my opinion
I don’t understand, u call her ur best friend, don’t u trust her,if u say she is ur best friend, u should kwn what she can ad can not do or are just imagining tins,because I am very close to my best friend husband, he tell tin,he can not tell his wife for some reason, dat does not mean we have something because d trust is there,I don’t see dat as a problem, except u are tell us u don’t trust ur husband too
Not everyone is like u…..pple like u are few.I trust no one not even my husband
Better end any relationship you have with her or you will lose your husband for her.
You need no advise be smart
Kill yourself
How can you leave a piece of meat with a dog. Offcourse the dog will eat it.
Kneel them down, ask them to raise up their hands and flog them 24 each. It works
I rather loose the friendship with my girlfriend than to loose my marriage. In fact, I will take that my best friend as an arch enemy and has to treat her as one.
if a pig the go close to ur sponge case definitely him want chop ur soap. so u wey Don notice am u go carry ur sponge case commot
My dear relax a real gentleman cannot be stolen if he loves u
More odservation bfr reacting mada.
Who’s mandate Is’t that, you must have a friend? Even if he’s sky high away from your spouse. You must be a cheat!
Gerara hia
Nafin
Pick any available matchet
Stop her before she stop you
Share him With her. Best Friend Ko? No Wahala. But She Can Fit Sweet Pass You O. Then There Can Fit Be Wahala O, Sorry.
I would advice u to invites her for a group fun u knw with I mean after all their is love in sharing
Ask buhari
Use your head Girlfriend!
The issue here is that not all girls or lady are de same oooo but just keep ur eye open
Wat is ur single frnd doing with ur husband? Y can’t she give u guys space,cus me I nor like insult atal, dats y if any females around me whether me older Dan u or not,immediately u first me locate ur suitor n I attend ur marriage to congratulate u n ur hubby den present wat I can afford den go,my going I cut hw I go close to u even chatting with u self I will hardly ask u hw ur hubby.I can only ask hw family n if u re nt working, I will advise u look for sumtin doing simply,wetin I want use going close to u n ur hubby take do.
U no get sense Das Y
Y? don’t u trust ur friend, and u call her best friend Den she is nt ur best friend OK.even if u don’t trust ur friend wt abt ur husband.
Ask buhari or check other room
must u have best friend, I don’t think so, separate from the so called BT friend and save ur marriage
please stop call her ur Best friend she is not
U brought her to him ,u knows how to get her from him
Ask Google
My dear act wit wisdom, dat closeness might be suspicious oooo, friends re bad oooo
typing
Tell her to shift a bit
My dear jst set down n watch, y she helps u do ur work as a best friend
If d gal doesn’t flirt with ur man den ur man may develop a lustful interest in her which may eventually affect ur marriage cos too much closeness may just be wrong for dem but u don’t have to be rude about it in oda not to offend ur man, talk to ur man abt u being uncomfortable with it n make ur frnd undastnd in a way dat wouldn’t seem like u re accusing her of something she hasn’t done, Trust is good but sometimes mistakes can occur n u really don’t want dat. Define their closeness n if she’s not comfortable with it, U know wat next to do.
Kill her if u like because we don’t no how close u were to each other.