Is it normal to get obsessed and stalk your boyfriend’s ex? A girl has found herself in the situation and doesn’t know how to quit the habit. Read her story.


My name is Nomfuneko, and I’m 25. I’ve been dating this guy for almost half a year now, and he’s been really sweet and respectful of the pace I set. A few days ago, we had a conversation where I learned about his ex of three years. (He was only a few months out of that relationship when we started dating.) I couldn’t help myself and found her Facebook, and she seems much more extroverted and experienced than I am.

I know it’s terrible to look up an ex—it just makes me feel insecure and second-guess our relationship. It’s been great with him so far, and he’s definitely looking at this “long-term” Even as much as I want to concentrate on our relationship though, I can’t help but thinking about him saying the same things to his ex.

I understand that at this age, most guys have been in serious relationships, that she was once a special person in his life, and that they broke up for a reason, so I should just move on. But I don’t know why I’m feeling so confused right now. I would love to hear your advice on dealing with learning about ex’s and how not to second-guess things that my guy says now.


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