Is it normal to get obsessed and stalk your boyfriend’s ex? A girl has found herself in the situation and doesn’t know how to quit the habit. Read her story.

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My name is Nomfuneko, and I’m 25. I’ve been dating this guy for almost half a year now, and he’s been really sweet and respectful of the pace I set. A few days ago, we had a conversation where I learned about his ex of three years. (He was only a few months out of that relationship when we started dating.) I couldn’t help myself and found her Facebook, and she seems much more extroverted and experienced than I am.

I know it’s terrible to look up an ex—it just makes me feel insecure and second-guess our relationship. It’s been great with him so far, and he’s definitely looking at this “long-term” Even as much as I want to concentrate on our relationship though, I can’t help but thinking about him saying the same things to his ex.

I understand that at this age, most guys have been in serious relationships, that she was once a special person in his life, and that they broke up for a reason, so I should just move on. But I don’t know why I’m feeling so confused right now. I would love to hear your advice on dealing with learning about ex’s and how not to second-guess things that my guy says now.

THANK YOU!

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