As written by the Kenyan lady, Bettern Chero, in the photo…
P.S, post is quite lengthy.
STOP GLORIFYING SINGLE MOTHERS
Before I get to the point of my article, let me state my disclaimer. “I am in no way attacking Single Mothers , myself am a daughter of a single father !!
Single moms, excluding widows, are generally losers and they have big possibility to raise criminals and sluts you see around.
If you’re a single mom these days you’re praised and heralded for your courage and strength in raising a child all by yourself. It’s brave for a woman to take on the responsibility of being able to deal with a bad man that left her and put her in an unfortunate situation.
But like most things, women, for the most part, we chose to put ourselves in this situation. Bad men don’t just magically appear in our lives as women . Bad men who leave women don’t just magically change and decide to leave the woman. And there aren’t only bad men to choose from. There are lots of good men out there too. But most single moms don’t want good men. Most single moms don’t know what a good man is.
Let’s get back to basics. Women totally we have the upper hand in choosing our partner. This is why men usually ask women out and not the other way around. This is why a man will have sex with just about any woman and while a woman will not have sex with any man. It’s supply and demand. It is much easier for a woman to pick up a man than for a man to pick up a woman. And that’s fine and natural.
You can’t have unplanned children if sex is planned. Every time you have sex you have the risk of getting pregnant as a woman. So there is no such thing as unplanned children. Of course there are exceptions like rape. The vast, vast, vast majority of single moms are not exceptions. They are choices that they made to have sex. So when you have a child as a woman you made the choice to either have the child or to have sex which has a possibility of creating a child. A child is a choice. Every woman knows her circle and she knows her danger days though during those days you feel to have sex ,stop !!
It’s not the man’s fault. You chose him. Again, women generally we choose men. Women have the final say on when and when not to have sex. Many men will do anything or say anything just to have sex. That’s where choice comes in. You need to sift through the basics . You need to put your big girl thinking cap on and not believe everything you hear. You need to look past the words and into the character of people. You have way more at risk than the man. You also have way more options than the man. You need to be wise about how you proceed.
Single moms always goes after alpha men who are attractive, muscular and good in bed and hope that they can keep the man by giving him more sex and following his every whim. They both use each other to their own advantage and have no desire to create something stable or long term. It is only a matter of time before the man moves onto the next woman and, likewise, it is only a matter of time before the woman moves onto the next man. The cycle repeats itself over and over again because these people do not know what they want. And in not knowing what they want they get what they don’t want. But the absence of choosing what you do want is the choice of what you don’t want. Why do some women choose good men and other women not? They all have the choice. But they don’t all make good choices. You can hate bettern chero yaani daughter of the soil from sacho but truth rems truth .
Single mothers shouldn’t be vilified, but they shouldn’t be glorified either. Let me just add to that: I do not think, in any way, shape, or form, that single moms are bad moms. To the contrary, judging by the single moms I know, they actually work harder to try to take care of their kids than most moms do in two parent families. Granted, that’s not because they’re better people; it’s because parenting is a two person job and they’re trying to fill both roles all by their lonesome. It’s extremely tough for them to do that, which I think most single moms would acknowledge.
Single mothers tend to struggle more financially and they do miss having a dad around to help with the kids, bring in more money, help soothe their frayed nerves, give second opinions, be a rock, and do all the things that men do to help make a happy home.
Of course, single dads have it tough, too, but as a society, we put single moms up on a pedestal and we don’t do the same for single dads. The courts always give the mom preference over the dad, most social media and people lionize single moms, but rarely single dads, and we generally treat moms like they’re the better parent by default. So even though single dads who take care of their kids are as important as single moms and care just as much for their children, they’re not looked at the same way as single moms. So, since single moms are much more common and are treated differently, they’re the ones we should focus on.
The problem we have in dealing with single moms in this country is because most of us know single mothers, know how hard they’re working, and wish them well, we do what we can to support them and build them up. That’s very understandable and it undoubtedly does some good. However, because we’re constantly talking about how wonderful single mothers are, we’re also making the option look a lot less scary than it should be to young girls — and that’s a very bad thing for them and for society.
The fact of the matter is, no matter how much a single mother loves her child or how diligent she tries to be, it’s unlikely that she’ll be able to do as good a job of raising her child as a mother and father could have done in her place. People hate to hear that, but it’s true. Incidentally, this isn’t me just talking off the top of my head. Statistics bear this out and show that many of the problems we have in our society, when you look a little deeper, are really caused by the number of out-of-wedlock births we have in this country, majority of suicides are individuals from single-parent households. 75 percent of drug abusers are from single mother parenting ,more than half of all youths incarcerated for criminal acts come from single-parent households.
There are 2 main reasons as to why most single moms are single:
They picked a loser to begin with
They picked a good man and he left cause she scared him away
Of course I’m generalizing, but there is truth to this generalization. Women who are happily married are almost always more wise and mature than single moms. It’s not a luck thing. Women choose their men. And married women choose better. Married women choose men that are more responsible, dependable and committed to a serious, stable relationship.
NATURE YOUNG LADIES DO NOT MISLEAD THEM !!
There are various factors that will lead to single parenthood such as divorce , wring choices and not knowing what you want and ending with what you don’t want !
Parenthood involves two people who share ideas and moral upbringing of children including financial obligations ,but when you find yourself being single parent it means you struggle so much to fulfill this obligations and this the reason we say single parent are hardworking , of coarse yes they have to go extra mile to fulfill this parental obligations!!
Inasmuch as we support the single parents as community and friends let us not glorifying the situation as the best thing to extent loudly encouraging our young girls to join the situation !! Today I can tell you from the bottom of my heart ,nobody wishes her child to be a single mother nor nobody whatsoever will wish anybody’s daughter to be single mother sadly we glorifying the situation to extent making young girls feel its the magical world to be in !!
Our mother left us young I was barely 14yrs first born , I saw how dad struggled from washing our clothes to our school fee to our family unity and social interact !! As young girls kuna various issues we never learned from dad himself was unable to address them , For instance I can dress as I see my friends do later to find a phone call from untie saying nonoh aki how did you dress , humbly I answer mum kwani ni vibaya , she knew we humble ,immediately evening she will come over tells us abcd and we took it positively , so any call from untie I used to know there is something dad doesn’t want ,to extent we asked dad to tell us direct to avoid community norms and he opened up to address us as a brother than a dad and we managed through !! What am I saying , irrespective the situation that took you to single parenthood its fair enough not to encourage your daughter or anybody’s daughter to join the set up , its a challenging institution that few manage !!
In cases of widows or widower community emphatically assists them it sympathizes with them well enough ,uncles and aunties comes in ,cuzos comes in that way family comes out strong with boundaries !! But where a single by choice exists ( nobody whatsoever wants be single mother by choice something happened ) nobody much assists even uncles says hao ni watoto wa Joyce utaweza ni kaa mama yao tu , that is the background you can’t change but we live with it !!
You can chose to negatively take this as tantrums but deep down your heart you know you can’t wish anybody’s daughter to be single mother even that of your enemy !!
Lastly bad man doesn’t just exist , as a woman we control relationship , and from my heart can tell you this , the only thing that starts from highest is love and goes down as familiarity comes in .. As a woman with your instinct you will know this relationship heads nowhere , men speaks anything to impress you to have sex , any man has no chose sleeps with anything as long as available !! Mostly women we go against right instinct thinking more sex to this man can change him ,dear you can’t train old dog new styles it will go back to its bad behavior !!
No man will walk from that door to start beating you ,in fact no beatings occurs in marriage ,its two mature idiots who don’t know how to sort out small issues that results to tantrums throwing hence results to physical assault weaker sex results to claim nachapua , noo its a lie !!
A man never wakes up one morning to be bad man noo its choices you saw it but married what is in him but not what he was !! Wrong choices dear !! I will hurt many but will heal many
Last but not least , we don’t have unplanned children , any woman who receives periods knows her cycle and each and everyone knows her hey days ,and during that hey day each feels honey to make sex !! Why do it ?? What do you expect ? How many times we tell you pills are 76% correct ? Some want to tag wrong man with a baby to have them in there life !! Dear why hurt entire of your life getting pregnant with scumbag? You have brighter life to live stop it !!
Hate me not , the silly man that walked out of you was your wrong choices and you saw it but you trusted your heart and disowned your head !! Heart has sympathy and love but head has reason and right judgement !!
Have great day from the daughter of the soil from the beautiful hills of sacho true blood of kamasia real tungo produce