3. YOU WORK WELL WITH OTHERS
You work well with others similar to how Squidward works with Spongebob. Basically you hate everyone, and dread the moment when you will be placed on your first special team project. Eurgh, the struggle.
4. YOU ARE FLUENT IN OTHER LANGUAGE
In your CV, you can speak Mandarin, Arabic, German and even French. And all these because you can say Good morning in these languages.
Just pray you don’t get posted to the Middle East just because you ‘can’ speak Arabic.
5. I HAVE EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Just because you have a somewhat decent grasp of the English language doesn’t mean that your communication skills are amazing.
Amazing communication skills is what Olivia Pope has, hence why she is a Gladiator. You are not a gladiator.
6. AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE START
You are available for an immediate start, even though you still need a week or even more to change that ragtag wardrobe of yours.
7. YOU’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT THE INDUSTRY
Sure you’re vaguely interested in working in the customer service industry, but really you’re more passionate about job security, being able to pay your monthly bills and being able to afford your gym membership.
The reason why this lie is so popular is because we all want a sure job (read here as any job) that can pay the bills.
8. I’M A VERY HARDWORKING INDIVIDUAL
When writing this in ur CVs, we find it hard to believe it ourselves. How can we say we are hardworking when we can’t take on any extra jobs or even do overtime?
9. YOU ENJOY WORKING INDEPENDENTLY
You like to work alone, until you get stuck on something. At this point you will try your hardest to push the task on to any poor unsuspecting soul.
10. YOU’RE CONFIDENT
You back breaks out in a sweat every time you have to introduce yourself to a new person, and you would rather eat a live slug than present important information to new people. You’re basically a shy mess in reality.
Very funny