Couple Cuddling

Poor Shakira started a firestorm the other day when she confessed that she had to ask her boyfriend, Gerard Pique, for permission before shooting a sexy music video with Rihanna.

What’s a grown woman doing asking for permission before making decisions about her career? Well …maybe she’s just being a good girlfriend?

Hey, someone had to say it! If there is one thing I’ve learned in the 13 1/2 years since my wedding, it’s that marriage is a partnership. And at the risk of being labeled anti-feminist, sometimes that means giving my husband the chance to say “eh, please don’t do that,” before I make a decision.

Take a week ago when I decided — last minute — to once again shave my head to fight children’s cancer. Before I signed up, I first went to my husband and asked, “Do you mind if I shave my head for St. Baldrick’s again this year?” It’s my hair on the line, but I’ll have to fundraise and show up the day of the event, plus someone needs to keep an eye on our daughter while I’m sitting in a chair having clippers buzzing around my head. He didn’t say, “no,” but if he had, I’d have respected it.

Really, it comes down to common courtesy. He’s not being “controlling;” he’s having an opinion … and as his spouse, you’d want him to respect your opinion, right? So why not respect his?

Don’t see yourself shaving your head any time soon? You’re not off the hook, hon.

If you want to stay on good terms, you might want to keep him in mind and ASK before you do any of the following:

1. Throwing out his ratty old t-shirts.

I have seen many a wife prattle on on Facebook about how she’s finally gotten rid of his stash of awful tees from college. My husband has his own fair share of those holey t-shirts, but I won’t touch them for one simple reason: I know I’d be annoyed if he ever dared throw out MY “I swear I’ll be skinny enough for these again one day” jeans.

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